Skip to main content

What if ???


I don't know I am in so & so mood and I really need to write something --- Believe me I don't know what I am writing or why? But I just want it to write... I think its a confession or probably its a serene reflection or dunno... I want to be in church , kneeling before God , repeating my prayers - God please gimme peace.. please gimme peace.. . I want to talk to Father , I want to feel his filial touch....
In a confession box - Im thinking all this but not able to confess --
What if I would have succeeded in committing sucide ?
What if He would have not come at the right time in my life ? - Oh I am thankful of that Angel who came and saved me.. and then silently went away...
What if .... I were not as I am now? I am so changed...
Why I am always seeking something?? What if I never get it in my life?
What if all my fears are true and I will have to lead an obscure life?
Noo..... I should not think like this. Its not the right way. I have to be normal in order to live a normal life. But I really don't want to lead a normal life. I love my fears , my thoughts , my failures , my happiness, I love myself and love to talk to myself. Whatever! I think I am out of senses.

Comments

Mr Happy said…
its not out of senses thoughts, they are thoughts which will make u a better human being , past deeds are always a learning and it makes help u to evolve better ,
whatever , i like ur thoughts :)
September 9, 2009 at 1:53 AM
swati said…
hi dear its really gud dat u write wats in ur mind wats in ur thought.......n believe me i hvnt wrds hw shud i praised u???
September 9, 2009 at 5:08 AM
@ngel ~ said…
Thanks for appreciating me for my meanest job. I hope my thoughts will become more clearer and deeper.
September 18, 2009 at 1:04 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dating .... :P

Now a days I am dating .. yeah ! Dating Myself ! :D Sounds great , right? Ah! Its not that I don't have anyone to date with ... really ! But I love to date myself.. its fun + its safe :P So , yesterday was feeling low , no no definitely was not in doldrums but I was physically not well... Well , I didn't sleep   2 days n 1 night , and I felt somehow this night is gonna be the same - sleepless waking nightmare kinda..  But don't know suddenly from where I got a superb idea - to enjoy my illness , to keep busy myself in one or the other thing so that I could forget all pains. I sat on net, and charged my mp3 player , it was almost 12 am , I desperately wanted to sleep , my eyelids had become heavy , but no , I just couldn't lie down on bed. And I felt a bit hungry too - as whole day I didn't eat anything except bread.  Ah! suddenly , my heart leaped , face brightened as soon as the idea factory got started... what about a classy date?? Mind argued - At this hour?...
11 comments
Read more

Two Hours for Soul

Two hours. Two long. Too much. Yet too less if I sit by a half-closed window and sun rays tickle my eyes play with my hairs and kiss my lips. Too less to thank God for all good he did.  Too less to observe the life as it flows.  Too less to love each moment as it passes by.  We run and run whole life and it is passed in a twinkling of an eye but our soul carries the imprints for eternity. The Soul was an empty vessel when it began its journey but the time allowed Soul to fill itself with pretty flowers, beads, gems and magnificent things. Whole life we keep on fulfilling the needs of body and neglect our soul. Wouldn't it be wonderful to pause for some minutes and give sometime to our Soul.  To observe the cycle of universe and feel yourself a part of it. To rise above the petty problems of the day and feel the magnificence of Being. To fly with imagination to the unknown worlds of fairies, kabilas, gypsies, forests, mountains, ocean. To let the...
11 comments
Read more

I am star of the Sky ...

I am star of the Sky that sees no Limit I break I fall and yet  When I shine I outshine all the Light ... Happy Birthday Angel  :) I often doubt, am I really an angel. Several times I attributed to myself the titles like - Stone Angel, Dark Angel or Fallen Angel - but I could never prick out the fact that I am not an Angel. Why? Why am I an angel? And then it says from deep down, "you don't have to find a reason for what you are." Around 5.20 am , she asked me, "Won't you wish something today?" , I looked up at the dark clouds for a sec , smiled and then nodded hard, " I would , I would , I would." and then I said, " aasmaan ka ek katra , aur wo hissa jisme mera birghtest star ho."   When we wished each other, my mom blessed me with the words, " zindagi ke sahi matlab samjho... ek din samajh jaogi.. aur tab tak samjhna jaari rakhna..."  I am feeling grateful for everything. Everything is so wonder...
4 comments
Read more