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What if ???


I don't know I am in so & so mood and I really need to write something --- Believe me I don't know what I am writing or why? But I just want it to write... I think its a confession or probably its a serene reflection or dunno... I want to be in church , kneeling before God , repeating my prayers - God please gimme peace.. please gimme peace.. . I want to talk to Father , I want to feel his filial touch....
In a confession box - Im thinking all this but not able to confess --
What if I would have succeeded in committing sucide ?
What if He would have not come at the right time in my life ? - Oh I am thankful of that Angel who came and saved me.. and then silently went away...
What if .... I were not as I am now? I am so changed...
Why I am always seeking something?? What if I never get it in my life?
What if all my fears are true and I will have to lead an obscure life?
Noo..... I should not think like this. Its not the right way. I have to be normal in order to live a normal life. But I really don't want to lead a normal life. I love my fears , my thoughts , my failures , my happiness, I love myself and love to talk to myself. Whatever! I think I am out of senses.

Comments

Mr Happy said…
its not out of senses thoughts, they are thoughts which will make u a better human being , past deeds are always a learning and it makes help u to evolve better ,
whatever , i like ur thoughts :)
September 9, 2009 at 1:53 AM
swati said…
hi dear its really gud dat u write wats in ur mind wats in ur thought.......n believe me i hvnt wrds hw shud i praised u???
September 9, 2009 at 5:08 AM
@ngel ~ said…
Thanks for appreciating me for my meanest job. I hope my thoughts will become more clearer and deeper.
September 18, 2009 at 1:04 AM
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