Just b-e-l-i-e-v-e!

Its amazing to view my blog after almost 20 days. I have learnt what I needed to . So I undeleted my Blog. Deleting this blog was like killing my own child. I had reared it with loads of love. Each of its post is an outcome of a struggling mind. They might not be readable or interesting but they mean a lot to me. They are milestones in my development. Well as I am back now I would tell one prominent reason of it. The Name - Just believe. It is so close to my heart that I began to think of creating another blog with this name. But that would be ridiculous. So I am going to continue over here only :)

... I can not help it now. I have come to this road. And it goes straight to Death. Don't be afraid my friend. Death will not swallow me. He is my groom. Once I am into him , he will be my shadow and I , his. I shall not live again and come to this earth. My days on earth will end soon. But dont you grieve or think I am again fooling myself. And... I tell you ... even if I am fooling myself , it is for my good...let me. Will you fight with me if I take medicine for the life is unbearable sometimes. You shall not. Be with me , we have got few good days left and when I shall be gone , you would miss me. Oh... you can not imagine. How glorious he looked. How does he work. How does he love me... so mutely , so meekly... and to see The King meek in front of me... I know the Power of Love. But I don't want to know anything... nothing... Do you remember , you told me once I can not be happy with any man. I have realized it now. I can not even be happy on earth. How can I be? when I a...

I dont know I should write it or no.And I dont know whether I will be to able to convey my emotions honestly and objectively. But all I know is, that I need to write it. I just read Shannon Hayes's article "Saying goodbye : What do we teach kids about death ? ", which begins with the words - " My grandfather is dying." And I felt goose bump in my stomach. My grandfather is also dying. But unlike her , I am far away from him. Unlike her , I don't feel much for him. Unlike her , I don't feel it... feel it deeply. Perhaps it is because I am five hundred miles away from him or I am not sure , if I would have felt same , were I near  him at his bedside. Perhaps , it doesn't move me because he is old and I want his sufferings to end. Or perhaps it is just a poor ingenuine excuse. I feel ashamed and at the same time I know number of my relatives who come to visit him daily , feel the same thing , perhaps more cruelly than me.  In her article , Shannon Ha...

Two days back I was travelling in bus and it was whole night's travelling. I was looking outside and thinking about darkness and then I wrote some lines about this --- In andheron me khade pedo ko Ye aati jaati gadiyan pal do pal ke liye roshan kar jaati hain per ye ped kabhi us roshni se koi aas nahi lagate Toh kyun mein aas lagaau Meri zindagi mein aate jaate Musafiron ke pyar ke do shabdon se. Mein ped hoon andhere mein khadi Roshni meri zindagi nahi ye toh pal do pal ki saheli hai. I hope its not too bad! :)