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the bridegroom !

...
I can not help it now. I have come to this road. And it goes straight to Death. Don't be afraid my friend. Death will not swallow me. He is my groom. Once I am into him , he will be my shadow and I , his. I shall not live again and come to this earth. My days on earth will end soon. But dont you grieve or think I am again fooling myself. And... I tell you ... even if I am fooling myself , it is for my good...let me. Will you fight with me if I take medicine for the life is unbearable sometimes. You shall not. Be with me , we have got few good days left and when I shall be gone , you would miss me.

Oh... you can not imagine. How glorious he looked. How does he work. How does he love me... so mutely , so meekly... and to see The King meek in front of me... I know the Power of Love. But I don't want to know anything... nothing... Do you remember , you told me once I can not be happy with any man. I have realized it now. I can not even be happy on earth. How can I be? when I am far from my beloved , my groom. But I dont hurry to meet him. I am not ready yet. I shall choose the bride's attire. I shall learn to color my face and look beautiful. I haven't yet learned to glow. I shall not meet him with my dry face and frizzy hairs. I will paint my hands and legs with lac-dye. I will prepare Kajal for eyes ... oh how shall I look in my bride's attire and ... in full-moon night. 

And now before meeting with my groom ; The Death , I shall meet with Life. Savor Joy and drink gloominess , and these be my  lac-dye and kajal.

And before meeting with my groom , I shall meet men and women and children who are at his mercy. And I shall each moment feel like a Queen - who is free from all Fears. 

And before my groom comes to take me , I shall try to heal men and women of their sores and fears of death and old age. I shall tell them - Ow... you are going to meet your beloved things after life , don't be afraid.

And before meeting with my groom , I shall learn to Wait. 

and he comes there... his arms open... a wide tall black shadow, a halo all around ... and I merge in him... gradually...

...

..., angel

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