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Showing posts from December, 2009

P.S. – Who cares!

On 31st night … when everybody is celebrating … when phone lines are busy … when a flood comes of sms… Jeanie is sitting alone on the terrace with her vine and cakes and guitar … she looked at the Full Moon … how beautiful he looks but he is alone too… (she laughs … but her eyes can not deceive her heart … a tear falls… ) Jeanie plays her favorite song – puri umra hum mar mar ke jee diye , ek pal to ab hame jeene do .. je lene do…ohhooo … Gimme sunshine , gimme some rain , gimme another chance I wanna grow up once again..

Jeanie is silent… not peaceful … but she loves being alone and doing what she likes .. this should be her best 31st… but no she feels as if something is missing.. and what’s that?
Friends !!!! those who love her and she loves… she is missing them terribly… She wanted to spend this night with someone special…

She sips her coffee… its almost … but she is not feeling sleepy… she thinks about Vish.. she picks up her mobile.. no Msg , no Miss call… She won’t initiate.. …

"the story of your eyes..."

A song for you :)

Let me read "the story of your eyes",
Let me read your heart,
I know I don’t understand you now,
But I want to and don’t know how?

Let me drown into you,
Let me wipe off the scars and fears,
I know I hurt you a lot,
May be because I am afraid or confused,
Or I am selfish (as you said)
But you know , don’t you? That I am mad.

Let me not think beyond this point,
Let me have some good memories –
Dusk of sharing,
Night of love,
And dawn with His white Dove,
I know this scheme is not funny,
But I really want to spend some time (with you) honey.

Let me sit beside you with hand in hand,
Let me watch this tempestuous calm sea,
Let me dance with you in rain,
Let me have some wild fantasy
I know and I have heard – "Life is not easy",
But don’t we like adventures and being frizzy?

Let us explore the world and ourselves,
Let us take a new birth each moment,
I know and I have heard – "Everything is possible",
Then let us enjoy !! who cares if we are not compatible.

A funny incident !

The most funniest thing of the end of the year---
We are “home alone”!!!…celebrating , enjoying n doing everything which can’t be done in mom dad’s presence . Well but I am the eldest one at home so I have to cook too. Today I had to cook only for my granddad so I made only chapatti and vegetable. Actually I would admit that I am not a good cook I have just learnt cooking by chance . … well what happened is – that I covered the bowl of vegetable by plate and I was doing some other work. I let that vegetable burn on the gas ….. and the result was – it was burnt !!!! But I didn’t lose my hope… I took out some vegetable which was on the top and didn’t burn … and served it to my granddad … the moment was very difficult for me as I had to hide my anxiety and show as if nothing is wrong with the vegetable. Well I was really very much afraid – firstly, because of this incident vegetable had become less in quantity and secondly , because my granddad is very particular about food.. he can point…

Will you love me....?

I may not be the brightest star,

Or a rarest gem,

But my love!

Will you love me for what I am?

What is life n what is love?

I don't know these names,

I am none n I am zero in this game,

But my love!

Will you love me for what I am?

Call me sunshine , call me a silly dame,

Or call me with any name,

But my love!

Will you love me for what I am?

I am ripped apart into two,

One is me , one is you,

But I haven't lost my track, am still sane,

Will you love me for what I am?

Say my love, say once in my name,

Will you love me for what I am?

Love me...


what I am...

Because I may not be the brightest star,

Or the rarest gem,

But I am what I am.


(Today , I watched “The Reader” , I cried ; not for the movie because nothing made us cry except something which lies inside us, I don’t exactly have words which could define what I am feeling now but I can say I am deeply touched . And pardon me for I am going to write my views , which are very personal , on a very delicate topic, and if you are not agree with this, I would respect your disagreement too.)

I don’t know about every person but there are few people … people who have a secret space in their hearts . A space where no one entered before and no one is known to it. This secret chamber is never closed for the person himself and he can always feel its air.

We ask what is love? For me, Love is the eyes which have seen this chamber of the beloved, the heart which knows its darkness , the breathe which is blended in its air … And the Lover is – one who is standing at its door , one who knows the person as well as his secret chamber.

And I believe , only those people can feel love who…

P.S. - Something Unspoken

Hey Vish how are you?
I am great darling . How about you?
I am good.
What’s up?
Nothing . I was just having a little booze party with my best friend.
Who? Shanky?
Yeah ! Who else could be?
Wao !
What’s wao in this?
No , I mean its good you are with Shanky. Now you will introduce me to him. Right!
Shut up!
Please Vish … let me once speak to him.. I like him.
Why ? What have you seen in him ?
Nothing , just his name is nice and I think he would not be lunatic like you…
What? Lunatic ! Oh ! Great… listen Jeanie don’t take his name otherwise …
What otherwise? Common you are a friend and you behave as if I am your girlfriend.
… ok Fine! Go … talk to him.
No… leave it now!
( After a brief pause)
……… ( A long silence creeps in)
Say Vish!
Vish! I want to tell you something. I made a blunder.
What Jeanie?
Vish … I got involved in s** with somebody …. Someone who is married… ohh… but not physically it was something … mental s**… I don’t know how to explain everything..
You don’t need to explain any…

Ode to Tranquility

The road on which I walkSay - Stop ,stop! to my wandering thoughts, And demand again - Look at me! with tranquil pose. I do look and wonder Oh! why did i never look before? What a scene! Oh! look at this rose.
Lush green trees and velvety grass, Sun is down too and wind blows fast Lets sit here and bunk the class. Why! my stray thoughts need a break, And I need a healthy space. Why not I bask in the sun and feel the grass?
Ah! what tranquility my mind feels, And like some soft balm It cures me and heals I cry not - not a tear falls In fact a smile plays on my lips I talk to myself and deal.
Now all my problems have been solved, My mind is calm again, Almost without any thought. Goodbye! friendly trees Goodbye! sweet sun and breeze Now I walk again on that road As my tranquility is again restored.


I am perhaps like a butterfly Not in beauty But in nature Who is never satisfy.
One flower is not enough, Beauty enchants me, And I like to fly.
I like to explore, That is why, I wander from one to another door.
And its not I fed up easily, Or my love fades away soon, But I am like that night, Which always loves its moon.
My heart wears color like a butterfly, Each flower adds different shade, And it shines like a starry sky.

I am perhaps like a butterfly Not in beauty But in nature Who is never satisfy.

P.S. - Vish and Jeanie (A strange friendship)

Hiee Jeanie
Hello Vish! How do you do?
I am ok.
Just ok? Why what happened?
Nothing … as such… I am fine.
No , you are not . Tell me what happened?
Oh Jeanie! …I … I watched a strange dream today.
Oh Dream? What was that Vish?
Jeanie .. I saw myself as a poor little boy who is very sad deep in his heart but he doesn’t tell anybody. He was sad because he had no one to play with…. One day he was lingering outside his house… and suddenly rain started … he thought he heard someone crying …he looked here and there and then he looked up … and he saw a beautiful angel who was crying.. he couldn’t stop himself from asking her what happened… before she could reply her mother angel called her up and she went away without looking at him….
This was the dream. I didn’t see further. But when I woke up something more strange happened. As I went to open the window I found it was raining outside.. for a moment I felt the presence of that angel… Jeanie I can not forget her… It sounds stupid but I … I am worried…

Weep no more ...

O weep no more , weep no more!You have lost nothing- Not which was ever yours You own nothing - nothing in this world Then why this fear? For whom this tear? O weep no more , no more my dear!
Weep no more! Because you aren't alone, You have a power that meets none, Time and Nature heals everything You own nothing - nothing in this world Then why this fear? For whom this tear? O weep no more , no more my dear!
Weep no more, Because you have been cheated Or you have lost a dear one, Some leaves you , some fills every gap, You own nothing - nothing in this world Then why this fear? For whom this tear? O weep no more , weep no more my dear!

One more Christmas !

I am going to see one more Christmas of my life. I will be alone. I don’t regret it. But I miss somebody. People who don’t belong to this earth. Those who are preciously and secretly kept in your heart and memory. The pictures of those days float in my mind… I can see myself as a young pretty woman who is very excited as Christmas is coming. She is excited to meet her family whom she has not seen for whole year. She would buy presents for all those near and dears. She has learnt a new recipe for cake also. But suddenly a picture pops in – a little girl appears… wearing a pretty frock and laces with a cute red cap… what an earthly angel she is!… before Christmas night when she is about to sleep.. she looks out of her window secretly … search for the moon… her mind starts running as what to think .. how to imagine… how to make this night wonderful … yeah! She got an idea… first she looks at the sky…night is lovely it has covered all the worries and sins of the evil world…the stars look …

Random thoughts ....

This world is a madhouse , isn't it?
I tell you about a girl's experience. There is a girl who at one time spoke with different men , of different age , of different location , of different fields. And while she spoke with everyone she opened her heart and showed her real self. Everyone was charmed by her beautiful and sweet heart so they also opened their heart to some extents. After a short period , she saw that everyone was utter lonely in their hearts and they all needed only one thing Love which has different synonymns like - comfort , healing, care etc... But their approach was different from one another. Everyone of them wanted to fulfill their biological needs and they covered it under the goodly shield of love. While no one actually loved her , they only appreciated and liked her. Even the girl didn't love anyone. She wanted love together with sex but she thought thinking about sex is a sin. Slowly she realised that everyone thinks about sex and perhaps when they…