Just b-e-l-i-e-v-e!

I miss those times when six years back we used to walk on the terrace and talk heart to heart, soul to soul. The impression of my hostel days still remain dark on my heart. I miss such a friend in my life with whom I can talk and discuss all things close to human development. But does such friendship last forever? I don't know this yet. We have Watsapp, Facebook etc but they do not ensure warmth of any relationship. I think we all do have our Journeys , and we keep meeting new co-travelers . This is what I truly love about this Journey called Life . Whom we even think are our best-est buddies, may be there in our lives for short period. In our journey when we feel we are on Fast Development Mode , our some friends might get left behind. And then we begin to feel the void, and an urge to have a friend with whom we could share our Development Progress or Experiences of  our Journey . There, I guess, we feel the yearning to make New Friends. Those who have similar experiences, ...

Everyday this questions comes to my mind. It is not that I think a lot, but thoughts just happen to me. What is life? No word, sentence, paragraph or book can describe it, I am sure. But tit-bits of thoughts might ? I had read a quote somewhere, it sounded so true - "Life is what happens to you, while you are busy making other plans".  Someone met with an accident, someone got cancer, a dear one died prematurely , and so on... Life happens to us, while we are busy making other plans. Sometimes, all of a sudden you feel , whether the decisions you took, all of them, were terribly wrong.

Yesterday I have been watching Brahmakumari's serial. Sister Shivani was discussing about Karmic account and past births. She told, the body is a costume, 'I' is a soul. Once we have this knowledge that 'I' is not this body but the soul which have been same through all past births, we can easily accept the fact that - Whatever is happening to me, I am Responsible for it. This is Karmic Account. Whenever something Bad Happens , we question why, why me, how come and etc... but once we have accepted that I am the only one who is responsible for it. So, its Okay. Karmic account got settled. This is the easy way to let go and not create the vicious circle by adding more complications.  I loved her logical talks, she said, with every new generation children are depressed, frustrated, and feel heavy load from an early age. It is because, we are in debt too deeply, our Karmic Account is full with heavy debt. In this Yug, our Bhogna is depression.  It is so depressin...

All my life I didn’t do anything than dreaming. And the tragedy is, I feel contrary to my dreams. For example – I dream to be a great poet, writer. But I feel I am a better critic than a writer itself. Another one is – I dream to have a royal job where I don’t have to do much and get a fat salary but I feel I am better at challenges and management. Whew! So, I decide, no matter I run after getting a fat-salary-job, I would do my best to keep alive my other talents. I had some school-time-dreams like – Opening a Club, Being an editor of a quarterly or periodical. Seriously…! These are my childish dreams. But I see them fulfilling in near future. Yo! I have already opened a Club. The name is – LOL (Live Our Life) Another instant name like My-World. Well ! All I know is – I am not born to live inside four walls. I am not an Aquarium Fish. I am born to be a Name. I am.  via: Google images

She heard him, she could feel his breath, the cold on his chest, the cloudy air before his eyes, as if she was herself there among the green hills. S.J. slept in the night, thinking of nothing. But Intoxication came over  Nothing. This nothing was so full of everything...one could refuse Nirvaana , one could give away thousand paradises for such...an Intoxication. The morning was hazy. Sun was playing hide n seek. S.J. woke up to find herself back. She found her heart's voice again. She got her confidence back to be herself... for there was nothing to lose when you had yourself. Because if you are lost, everything is lost. Each moment was a moment of self-love... S.J. said to herself in those moments, " oh yes...the answer is no. I had been so much letting my mind intrude the matters of heart. .... god ! I want to let go of myself...into myriad emotions, different patterns of lives, unexplored gestures... I want to drink up the "neat of life", taste it in its purest...

Those who have a life, always wonder what would happen if everything ends unexpectedly. Years ago, Jeanie used to wonder if she could have another story. A one thrilling and unexpected.  Jeanie dreamed it this way -  She always wants to die, not because she does not love her life but she loves death more. She was in love with death, as someone falls in love with the Blue Poison. One day she gets to know she is going to die soon.  She is happy beyond limits. But at the same time she begins to feel restless. How she would spend her last days? What she would do? There were plenty of things to do. Those she had planned to do when something happens like this. Well, she makes a plan. She will spend her last days, making moments.  Jeanie quits her job. Packs her stuff. Locks her house. And goes out. No plans. She just goes out, any street , any city, any place ... She behaves crazy at times but tries never to lose the touch with her aim - making moments. She mak...

I lost my specs, this prompted me to wonder, what if I lose my eyes one day, though Milton is there! But , what if it really happens, outside my literary world? Then just one doha of kabir rings in my ear, " bhala hua meri matki futi, main paani bharan se chhuti." i.e. Good that my vessel has broken, now I wouldn't have to go through the ritual of filling the vessel every day. Did you ever realize how deep it could be? Are our eyes not the vessels that fill the images of the world - good, bad, beauty, ugly, dirty, violent - all unnecessary things. If we become blind to the material images, all that would remain is- formless beauty of God, flowing incessantly in our hearts. And likewise, all five senses are vessels that we fill from worldly things. Now, understand the interpretation of doha, in a positive sense, "Good that it has broken." The phrase is full of optimism. It does not say - "Its okay" or "Now when it has broken"  But it emphasiz...

Its all a Game to me, I will play it -  Risk all Learn new things Never lose Hope Always Believe in Good and Victory I bet I would Win And even if I not What does it matter After all - it's just a Game. 

This day became a milestone in my life. I read one of the most influential books of the world  - The Book of Nothing - Osho's commentaries on Zen master Sosan. Days before I had set on the journey, my mom had asked me to meditate and ask God, what is my purpose? After reading this book, I laughed at myself, because I always knew and yet it last few years of Material Race had made me blind to it. "The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences." Months before I had set on the journey, my mind had been clogged with the worldly game of Misery. I had forgotten my Wisdom- and my Heart's Voice, which would always speak Clearly in childhood. Remember, when heart speaks, Mind-logic are always wonderfully Silent. " Do not search for the truth; only cease to hold opinions " The whole day I was lost into Nothingness. A kind of Ecstasy , that even most beautiful words fail to express. And after that, slowly, softly, without noise, my life t...

I am star of the Sky that sees no Limit I break I fall and yet  When I shine I outshine all the Light ... Happy Birthday Angel  :) I often doubt, am I really an angel. Several times I attributed to myself the titles like - Stone Angel, Dark Angel or Fallen Angel - but I could never prick out the fact that I am not an Angel. Why? Why am I an angel? And then it says from deep down, "you don't have to find a reason for what you are." Around 5.20 am , she asked me, "Won't you wish something today?" , I looked up at the dark clouds for a sec , smiled and then nodded hard, " I would , I would , I would." and then I said, " aasmaan ka ek katra , aur wo hissa jisme mera birghtest star ho."   When we wished each other, my mom blessed me with the words, " zindagi ke sahi matlab samjho... ek din samajh jaogi.. aur tab tak samjhna jaari rakhna..."  I am feeling grateful for everything. Everything is so wonder...

WHAT ? DEPRESSION ? WHAT THE  F THAT IS ? HELL  I KNOW WHAT  THE LIFE IS FOR. EVERYTHING WHICH HAS FOUR or FIVE LETTERS IN IT   COME ON NOW STOP THINKING AND START LIVING !!! To OMEGA !

People around me are doing What Not. What the hell I am doing sitting idle at home and getting tired in every 4 hours?  Alright.  I know Exactly what can Breathe Life Into Me  A Cozy Home with which I am free to do Anything.  SHOPPING. Ow ! only Home Decor <: p> An outing , may be, with my Crazy friends. A cutemeet <*-*> Working on some creative project as Documentary Film , Institution, Workshops etc. Earning by my pen. And of course- Joining Salsa Classes     source  

From whole Twilight series - I just loved last dialogue by Bella - "I am not a normal girl and I don't want a normal life."  That's why she chose Edward over Jakob , while she loved both because living with Edward would mean leading a different life.  Some tape in my mind repeats this dialogue again n again ... as if reminding me something which I have forgotten.  I... I just ... dunno ...  always feel out of the world ...  Remembering the poem by Frost - Two roads diverged in a yellow wood..... Its time to prepare myself.... for a combat with an outside world... but before that I will have to win the battle going inside my soul ...  P.S. - I wish they would have understood me... I don't need / expect shelter from them , all I want is their Faith in me... even if I am badly wrong , after all How I will be able to learn to walk if I wont stumble ? 

You are in your journey. You know your destination but don't know the right way to reach there. You begin... you stop.. ... again resume... you forget the way ... go back ... again begin....  but when you meet such people or who happen to come in your way and try to tell -- no go this way this is right ... or that way because that seems more proper ... you begin to lose you intuitive power to reach at destination . Or you tend to reach late at your destination. Now if I apply this to life's journey I feel we tend to opt for wrong or say long way to reach at our destination when we hear everyone's advice or we try to walk on the road of their experience.  ---> You should opt Science Maths ... (But I have inherent talent for photography) ----> Listen ! you cannot do intercaste marriage Ok . (God please!  if you believe in soul mates just answer my one question - Is it necessary that God must have created your soul mate in your caste) ---> Its not right ...