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Showing posts from 2015


I have not been a trained dancer. I have never learned any dance form be it Indian or western. But since first class in my school, I remember myself participating in Dance performances. I have been crazy about dance through out my school days.
I have quite wonderful memories related dance and my craziness for it. In my co-ed school, I was the first one to prepare girls-boys dance (although that could not succeed coz boys fell in love with girls and it ended badly) (Laughing out loud).We were also first one to dance on slow music, kind of couple dance (this time girls playing the roles of boys.) (It was still a bold step for a school function.) I had choreographed many dance performances, and my favorite one was a Mujra which we performed on the Annual Function in my 12th standard. 
I love organizing dance functions , so I have organized a couple of dance functions in my Colony. For an organization, I have taught dance to kids for many years. It gives me immense pleasure and…

A Dog in a room full of Mirrors

I had an idea, and I began to write a 50 word fiction. As soon as it crossed the limit 50 , I tried to cut and alter. Anyways ! I couldn't do that. So here's what a 50, later 100 and now 148 word fiction has become.

As soon as, Wahida and I stepped out from our Aunt’s house, she chuckled and spoke into my ears, “ oh my God! How honey-coated words she was speaking, how well she was behaving with me … though she is not as bad as I thought.” I thanked god, for my sister behaved nicely too with my aunt.

Wahida was trying to stay away from society. It has been four years, she stayed alone at some part of the country. Meantime she grew hostile towards our folks because they did not treat her nicely during her trouble times. Today’s incident reminded me a story of an angry dog who saw his own images barking at him, in a room full of mirrors. And when another dog came in waving its tail, all dogs were doing the same in return. 
I began to wonder, which Dog I have been recently.  

Uncertainties - 50 words Fiction

These are two inter-related pieces of Fiction in 50 words .

"Right now, I am standing in a pool of uncertainties."
"What would you do then Jeanie?"
"I will just relax and float. I know I am not going to die that way."
" But still, what would you live upon?"
" Faith. He will place everything in its order. Sooner or Later."

Jeanie, after nine years, looks out from her kitchen window, the sun was hazy, the flowers smiled profoundly at her.  At Eleven, youngsters began to hop into her Book café. Her dream café, it was. She felt immense proud at her establishment and her book, called “The Book of Uncertainties.”

Till the end of the world

"Till the end of the world
I will follow you !"
He didn't.
She said looking at the heated Sun,
"Its Still Okay !"

till the end of the world

There is Love There is Care and yet ... she chooses to take a boat at a lonely sea shore and moves on till the end of the world slowly...slowly...

Christmas once again !

As I was walking on the less-crowded road today, I realized why do I love Christmas more than any festival. As I walked on the road, I imagined the gift shops, lighting, kids playing around, the decorated Christmas tree, people busy in buying gifts for their friends and family.

Yes this is the reason why I love Christmas. I love gifts - both receiving and giving. And Christmas is the festival of Celebrating together and exchanging gifts.

On Diwali,  you toil hard for 2-3 months to clean the house, repaint it and prepare refreshments for god-knows-who. Diwali is a festival that demands lot of work to be done.  On Christmas, there is a little preparation and lots of fun.

Practically I have never celebrated it on a large level. But I wish to. In my childhood, my friends knew I love Christmas, so they would bring me cake and I would buy gifts for them. Sometimes it feels, nothing except friends truly care about you love. 

One day I really wish, on the Christmas morning I would see loads o…

Pink City - The Queen of Cities

Could anyone fall in love with a city so much so that when you are away you miss the City, in spite of your loved ones ? The answer is YES  (in Bold and Capital). Though India is a very diverse country and all cities have their own beauty and peculiarities. But the cities of Rajasthan are magnificent because of their glorious historical sites and the stories living there. In West India, in the state called Rajasthan, my beloved city is Jaipur. The cultural heart of India, Pink City Jaipur is a Queen of all Indian cities. Its a well-designed and an interesting blend of Tradition and Modernism. Jaipur is a city of Art, Culture and Heritage. It personifies Elegance, Grace and Luxury.

Jaipur is not only rich in culture and arts, it’s also a very well-planned city with a blend of modern and traditional architecture. The old city was planned with Indian vastu shastra by Vidyadhar Bhattacharya in 1727.  Design is the core of this city. Walls are painted pink with traditional white mandana des…

What is life : JLT

Everyday this questions comes to my mind. It is not that I think a lot, but thoughts just happen to me.
What is life? No word, sentence, paragraph or book can describe it, I am sure. But tit-bits of thoughts might ?

I had read a quote somewhere, it sounded so true - "Life is what happens to you, while you are busy making other plans".  Someone met with an accident, someone got cancer, a dear one died prematurely , and so on... Life happens to us, while we are busy making other plans.

Sometimes, all of a sudden you feel , whether the decisions you took, all of them, were terribly wrong.

As it is...

Every girl desires a secret love
an anonymous lover a mysterious love story
Its weird  but I strongly feel you are there you read me every word, breaks between the words and empty spaces
I don't know who you are  but I strongly feel You are connected to my soul. You are there!

Life is a Mystery

Yesterday I have been watching Brahmakumari's serial. Sister Shivani was discussing about Karmic account and past births. She told, the body is a costume, 'I' is a soul. Once we have this knowledge that 'I' is not this body but the soul which have been same through all past births, we can easily accept the fact that - Whatever is happening to me, I am Responsible for it. This is Karmic Account. Whenever something Bad Happens , we question why, why me, how come and etc... but once we have accepted that I am the only one who is responsible for it. So, its Okay. Karmic account got settled. This is the easy way to let go and not create the vicious circle by adding more complications. 
I loved her logical talks, she said, with every new generation children are depressed, frustrated, and feel heavy load from an early age. It is because, we are in debt too deeply, our Karmic Account is full with heavy debt. In this Yug, our Bhogna is depression. 
It is so depressing even…

S.J. - Quietness

Doesn't it happen with you? Like... when life is going all fine, all of a sudden, you stop feel anything about it. No future comes to your mind, no past lingers , no present stirs anything in you...I mean as if the wheels have stopped... all noise shun away... images pass by but no voice come from inside...
a quietness sweep all over...
a long long sleep... everything forgotten .... living in subconscious state...

S.J. asked herself what it is? why it is Now? She asked herself again,
Practicing stillness? No. Force stop to Thinking? No. Want to die? Not actually.
May be waiting someone/something to throw a stone to create ripples.

S.J. looked around, to see what she sees...

One day without you

One day without you is like silent lights of the morning the hazy day  pass away I feel the world is all fine and yet I miss your smiley sunshine.
One day without you is like the cloud of midnight rains clock runs  at a snail's pace I feel the world is all fare but in the night at nothingness I glare
Oh! we pretend we don't miss each other we show off we give enough space  we 'give a damn' and  say 'as if I care' But what if one day  one of us is no more there?
Sometimes, in a marriage,  It is good to admit that you Love that you Miss that you Care that you Fear. Sometimes, in a marriage,  It is good to know that  We are blessed to have them there. 

A House of My Own

A House of My Own

Open space, colorful flowers, far from city, no pollution, no noise. Less amenities, less luxury, a little but my own home. With my glass cutlery, a shelf of my dear books, a little studio of art works and vintage magic all over.         My half opened window and an eternity to feel the music of time. No hurry, no worry, time runs and stops at my wish. Serenity and peace !

Marriage is...

Faith and Doubt Love and hatred Illusion and Reality Truth and Lies Time and Eternity
Don't dwell on either part 'coz The Art of Balancing is an art of Living.
And,  Marriage is an epitome of This Art...

love in marriage

Whenever I read a male poet
and their poems of love -
sensual, deeply deeply emotional
pouring out all fears, faith
and cares,

I wonder !
Does my husband think the same way?
Does he feel soft, fluffy, childish ache of love
Does he desire me
crave, yearn, cry inside for my love?

I want to know
what does he feel for me?
how does he want me?
how much he want me?
But both remain silent as if
talking about love in marriage is a sin.

I was insanely curious until today
when he said during morning cuddles,
"I missed you yestermorning
I had to wake up my own."

Just a Hello to Morning !

Hello morning !

I have been quite "down" from a few days. No problem in life - thats perhaps a problem for people like me. Not that I am too much adventurous, love challenges, struggle and all but... I am sure don't like a plain , simple, dull, boring life. I don't have anything to do except study and chores. Everything is fine and yet I have all sorts of regrets, frustration, feeling of demotivation and all. I don't know what to do !
Wait ! I think I know. I need to believe whatever I have , I can make most of it. I just can't let go of time and feel wasted. I have did it all my life. But now, I need to keep myself busy - doing little things I love. And I need to start Visualize - to the height of Living - the life I really WANT.
So please, wake me up early. Don't let me forget the promises I make to myself. And make me believe in the dreams I watch...
Love you always!

@ngel !

Blogging in the Morning !

When ever I try to stay up and concentrate on my career, I fall down to my dreams of creativity.

I am drawn to Creativity.

But I have a strong notion that people often reflect what their soul contains.

What do I reflect or what I have power to Reflect , I dunno...

In the pool of black waters, I am struggling to go deep , in search of Purity, Beauty and Love !


S.J. couldn't stop laughing when Ree (an old friend from an old school) told her why they were actually Like-minded (because both felt Same in the Same situations.) Ree was sharing her mixed experiences after marriage. 

S.J. asked playfully , " Is it tough Ree?"

"As unexpected, yes it is," gravely Ree replied.

"Oh... what bothers you dear." 

" I don't know. It feels like Life has come to an end. I am not living for myself. All dreams have shed. I have totally changed. I care less, I live less, I dream nothing. I am in comma I guess." 

"Oh stop it. Look ! You are not changed. You have just grown up. Like after passing School , you have jumped into the college. That may be different, weird at times, but its not actually bad. "

S.J. saw Ree was not convinced, she was lost. For a second, in a flashback moment, S.J. recalled how she had cope up with her own changed situations after marriage. May be every girl goes through it but you are n…

Weather is beautiful

Weather is so beautiful now. High winds and raining since 5 days nonstop. No work, no studies, just lie down and watch out the window. Dreams , fantasies, ideas... Oh yes! I wrote one more short-film  script, after our first effort turned out to be pretty cool.
I love this weather, it's so inspiring. Stories, comes out in the words. Pain, ecstasy, all raw emotions can be felt in just one single day.

I had a dream. I still think of it sometimes. That someday I would live on a high green hill, close to nature , in a natural way.

May be some day!


I thought I have got a straight road.  I had forgotten the earth is round and all roads collide into one.  I am glad to meet you again.  You are handsome...but I can't see your eyes... I want to look into them. Really.

S.J. is Somyaa and Jennie

Yes ! S.J. is two names for one person. Somyaa exists in the real world and Jennie exists in the mind of Somyaa. Somyaa has her world, her goodie life and a loving husband while Jennie is a wandering girl who lives on dreams and memories of a secret past. Somyaa married the man she fell in love with. Jennie has only the memories of a mysterious love. Somyaa is mostly lost into a world where real problems are ready to throw you down, where there is no time to think, where there is everything is plain and clear. But Jennie ... she is angelic, soft-hearted and more than a human. She is a philosophic creature. She wonders what is destiny, what is soulmate, what is past life?

S.J. series are the Thought-Stories of Somyaa and Jennie.
#p.s# I don't know what made me explain all of this today. Perhaps, Jennie is too confused and nostalgic. 

S.J. ~ Again !

"I think I can't take the after-roles of an Indian bride."

S.J. wondered was she always a depressing kind of ? An unhappy brooding girl who always complained for one thing or another ?

" I think I saw him. He was the first one to believe , I was capable of Love."

All goes fine with everyone, but the disasters only happen to S.J. Why ! why on the earth she makes such horrible mistakes that she begins to hate herself?

" I think I can't ever go back to that beautiful dream. A married indian girl has no home of hers. "

She feels terrible about it. Like everything has changed just with one date.  Her home is no more hers.
And what she has to accept, she can't, its not easy to bend, is it?

"I think I need to fall in love with myself again. Into the world of mystery, magic and beyond the horizon."

First Anniversary

The first year of marriage that too if you are staying in a joint business family - No comments.[:p] The first thing I have learned is to be Polite. I was always quite type which people take for politeness but after marriage I have actually begun to keep two Ps in my life - Politeness and Patience.

Well today just in code words -

1. I miss my home.

2. I miss the way my parents celebrated every occasion.

3. I love my hubby. Despite his tough looks, he is adorable.

4. I want a home of my own.

5. I want a sensible and meaningful life.

That's enough for today. Isn't it. However! it is the time for celebration.Its my Anniversary :) 

Valentine's Day

As the Valentine's Day come
I realize
Love is not a thing to show
a thing to eat
a thing to pray
or a thing to dance with

it is
a word unspoken to yourself
a smile given to no one, but oneself
a good thought for all
and a kiss blown to life

it is
a thing to be felt
at anytime of life
at anyplace in the universe. 
I think I would be dead by the time I finished my Ph.d. what the ---- is that I am already bored. I am tired. Not with only books, reports,unnecessary pop-ups but also with marriage parties, gossips, same faces, same rituals, same food and same worries. I have begun to worry a lot. Does that mean I have joined the Club "30s" - the age that brings lot of worries with it. About career, shift, kids, their childhood and troublesome teenage, house, parents oh....endless sufferings. I never wanted to become a part of it- the boring cycle of life. I wanted mystery, adventure, thrill, mission - altogether a different life. Sometimes (like today) I feel like leaving everything behind and go out in the world. I feel trapped. And you know what, I understand its all planned. It is like the movie As Above So Below. You are meant to be there, the trap is set for you, you feel lost, you lose hope and those who do they never come out but those who put a little effort and have faith they ca…

Garnier's Pure Active Neem Face Wash : A genuine product for oily skin

What a fabulous topic to write! Thanks to Garnier and Indiblogger to give us a chance to discuss what is generally not discussable. Pimples! and not just pimples, it is moreover dull, deadly, uneven skin which makes people ask -are you not well? are you sleepy ? mood off? eh ! so irritating. It does not matter you are a housewife and stay at home all day long, your skin goes so dusty by night. People say, do not use soap, cosmetics or try any new brand but what is one supposed to do then?

Now a days you do not dream to look like beauty queens Madhubala , Madhuri or Marlyn . You are just fine if you look like yourself. When you watch Ndtv Goodtimes' Band Baja and Bride, you wish if you could also go through the ideal Cindrella's make over. But that is not for all. Being a middle class  average looking girl , you have to discover a magic wand for yourself.

Acquiring the traditional ayurveda knowledge , you know that for oily skin Neem is the ideal remedy. Earlier people would g…

I am not a fish !

Happy Beginning 2015

It was a fresh start of the new year. I formed a Club, at last. I spoke to the all important persons in my life. And on top, my mom-in-law gave me the year- end -trophy with - " The award of your struggles in the kitchen is that everyone has begun to like your food." :p Thank God ! It has ended.

The morning of 1st January 2015 was a little depressing. But I am full of hope now. I have so much to do. Club responsibilities, duties as a daughter-in-law, Goa Tour in Feb, First Anniversary, Phd projects and the College Lectureship Exam in August - aww I am packed! :D

Guess what ! I love my life. I see hopes for my future. I feel if I give some extra efforts and passion, I can build it any way I want. And I feel Young :P

Loads of love to this life , which gave me soooooooooomuch more than I ever asked for. Love for everyone who make it Special.

@ngels r always @ngels ;)