I think I would be dead by the time I finished my Ph.d. what the ---- is that I am already bored. I am tired. Not with only books, reports,unnecessary pop-ups but also with marriage parties, gossips, same faces, same rituals, same food and same worries. I have begun to worry a lot. Does that mean I have joined the Club "30s" - the age that brings lot of worries with it. About career, shift, kids, their childhood and troublesome teenage, house, parents oh....endless sufferings. I never wanted to become a part of it- the boring cycle of life. I wanted mystery, adventure, thrill, mission - altogether a different life. Sometimes (like today) I feel like leaving everything behind and go out in the world. I feel trapped. And you know what, I understand its all planned. It is like the movie As Above So Below. You are meant to be there, the trap is set for you, you feel lost, you lose hope and those who do they never come out but those who put a little effort and have faith they can come out of it, because there is always a loop-hole. One just needs to find that loop-hole. I am trying my best.
Now a days I am dating .. yeah ! Dating Myself ! :D Sounds great , right? Ah! Its not that I don't have anyone to date with ... really ! But I love to date myself.. its fun + its safe :P So , yesterday was feeling low , no no definitely was not in doldrums but I was physically not well... Well , I didn't sleep 2 days n 1 night , and I felt somehow this night is gonna be the same - sleepless waking nightmare kinda.. But don't know suddenly from where I got a superb idea - to enjoy my illness , to keep busy myself in one or the other thing so that I could forget all pains. I sat on net, and charged my mp3 player , it was almost 12 am , I desperately wanted to sleep , my eyelids had become heavy , but no , I just couldn't lie down on bed. And I felt a bit hungry too - as whole day I didn't eat anything except bread. Ah! suddenly , my heart leaped , face brightened as soon as the idea factory got started... what about a classy date?? Mind argued - At this hour?...
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