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I am caught ...

I am caught in a vicious circle.

There is love
care
friendship
happiness
peace
but
then comes
the evil conscience
and with it
the question of fidelity ...
It makes me sick
when I cant tell you
what's going in my heart
It is murderous
It is suicidal
It is dying without wanting to die
And so I want to withdraw
And I am forced to tell you
that I don't deserve love
(When I really do)
But  - is it because
I am a woman
I have to give the test?
I have to prove I can love one?
To be loved in return?
I don't want anything
Just one promise -
Don't judge me ...
(You don't know me)
(And you shall never know me
if you don't open the clutches...)

I am free ...
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