Skip to main content

How do you feel when you don't deserve but you know , you are still loved ?

Sarah left the town early morning. She is going back to her obscure hometown. She would change the sim , yes , it is the first thing she will do as she reaches over there. She would stop writing , or at least publishing on her blogs. She would... she would just  live an obscure life... away from her complicated past. She would try to forgive herself. Forgive? for what? What has she done? She never hurt anybody intentionally. She just wanted to be happy. Is it bad to seek happiness ?  Is it evil? ... Sarah takes a deep breath , closes her eyes , and tries to relax herself. A whole day journey ! Sarah looks out of the windows and chant slowly - everything will be fine... sooner or later ... everything will be fine... (but we perished each alone...) no everything will be fine... yes it would be ... it has to be ... ( but I beneath a rougher sea) ... no no no... I have to keep my mind clear...
Its a revenge. I am loved. But I know I don't deserve it . I shall be gone. They can't find me. I will go away. Go away. From everyone's life. They deserve peace. I shall die. I am just... always broken and hopeless...they want and they know what I can give them but they won't give it to me... Sleep... So I must now... Sleep...

Sarah woke up. Her parents had come to take her to home. She looked all around in bewilderment. Where she was? How long she slept in the bus? But it was not a bus. She was in the hospital . She didn't know what happened. But she was happy to see her parents. She felt safe and secure. As she was becoming familiar with this unfamiliar feelings... she felt more happy ... she felt as if she has been watching a bad dream ... as if she was in a mental hospital ... as if she had tried to commit suicide... but her parents didn't scold her... didn't ask anything... they were happy with tears in their eyes... they hugged and kissed their daughter as if she has come back from the hell itself... their watery eyes were telling her ... everything will be fine...

Once again she felt she didn't deserve but still... she was loved .

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

With Hatred , To Eve Teasers !

When it happened to me yesterday , I was like , I would kill that bloody bastard but I was so stunned at that moment , I couldn't even speak anything , I didn't know how to react... only two - three drops came out from my eyes... Whole day as I was reflecting on this issue ... I don't know whether Eve in "eve teasing" stands for our first mother Eve. I am sorry for the day God created her. Adam & his creed do not deserve her. And I am sorry for all men because due to some unsocial & insensitive men , they all are being condemned . All are not same but yet when one apple is rotten how can you wish to taste another? I had not seen Eve Teasing until I came Jaipur. When I walk to my college , I see it so much. Guys make comments , sometimes just - Hello , Hi , or a whistle ... sometimes they shout loud and scare you by driving rashly . On road while you walk , you can have a lot of weird and bad experiences . But as there is difference between joking , fli...

Two Hours for Soul

Two hours. Two long. Too much. Yet too less if I sit by a half-closed window and sun rays tickle my eyes play with my hairs and kiss my lips. Too less to thank God for all good he did.  Too less to observe the life as it flows.  Too less to love each moment as it passes by.  We run and run whole life and it is passed in a twinkling of an eye but our soul carries the imprints for eternity. The Soul was an empty vessel when it began its journey but the time allowed Soul to fill itself with pretty flowers, beads, gems and magnificent things. Whole life we keep on fulfilling the needs of body and neglect our soul. Wouldn't it be wonderful to pause for some minutes and give sometime to our Soul.  To observe the cycle of universe and feel yourself a part of it. To rise above the petty problems of the day and feel the magnificence of Being. To fly with imagination to the unknown worlds of fairies, kabilas, gypsies, forests, mountains, ocean. To let the...

The Anonymous

Its been one year or so he stops at my blog n leaves comments. The comments kill me. Sometimes I know who is he. At other times I am just like a baffled cat. I think of old conversations. What went wrong? What was right , anyway?  A face without a face. A mere shadow creeping over my mind. Can I have any story with anonymous? And what if there is one? What sort of story it can be? A very romantic? Or mysterious? A tragic one? Let's just make out the possibilities... He is the one I am thinking of and I am the one he always thought of. Out of comments we come together and begin afresh. Despite the fact, I am still confused. Despite the fact, I don't want to go back. I am curious to know what's the end... Or may be the Anonymous is the one I would never want him to be. I hate even his shadow because it tells dark stories of my own heart. What if its not the one I expect. Expectations should not hurt. But why to expect? What else can I do? I am lost in the game. The ano...