Skip to main content

Healing

Healing

I am crushed ,down and broken. What do I do now? Where to go ? Whom to ask? I live in Mumbai and here if you want to find answers go to the “mother sea” . She is vast , deep , infinite ,healer, mystic and like.

So, I have come to the “mother sea” to get healed. As soon as I saw people with their families, kins , friends , lovers I suddenly felt a tide in my heart. .. and tears started rolling down my cheeks. I did not stop myself… I cried my heart out… after all it is the first step of Healing .

I am calmed down and looking at the sea. How wonderful it is! My mind starts reflecting the whole thing again. I am a “loser” or perhaps I am the most insignificant thing in this world. I have lost my boy friend (Why the hell did I believe him when he said he loved me?) I have lost my best friend , I have nobody ‘special’ in my life or rather I am not special in anybody’s life. So , I decided to break off from everyone because I really am not in mood to commit suicide nor do I want to feel insignificant anymore.

One question pop-up in my mind now which always terrified me – “Who will cry when I will die?” Earlier my immature heart imagined that at least my close ones would grieve my loss but now … well I think I will leave no one behind me who will seriously miss me. And believe me this gives a sense of freedom – though strange freedom it is!

Look at this ocean! It is so mysterious. It seems like a thousand year old monk. It carries eternal wisdom and deep knowledge. How it would have become such a vast ocean? Certainly it is no one day miracle. The sea must have suffered a lot , endured a lot to become what it is now. Even nature suffers then are our sufferings unnatural?

The ocean , in the middle , seems to be very still but it is constantly moving. So, the mother sea teaches to “move on”. But my heart asked , “Does it mean to leave all relations (and troublesome things) behind and move on?” And a motherly voice replied back , “It simply means to Forget and Forgive , Accept whatever comes to your way and move on.” And then my heart said to me , Listen ! how the breaking waves create sweet melody. It teaches that even breaking means producing a soft sound. So enjoy the music because remember the waves again go back and come forth with same vitality –this is called “ to live” … crushed , broken and still do not cease to sing.

After the sunset , it has grown dark . I can not see people’s faces and nor they can see mine , so it means I can express my anguish , can cry loudly but no I don’t want to cry anymore , it seems the “mother sea” has soaked all my tears. My heart is light. And as I walk on the busy streets , my heart is again pulsating with happy beats – I call them “Mumbai beats”.

Comments

Mr Happy said…
mumbai beats are nice

Popular posts from this blog

when colors speak...

It is so real, isn't it?  I loved the colors... Woods are calling me.... A silence... A path... A spiritual feeling... drowning in Orange effect   - Vincent Van Gogh 

I am star of the Sky ...

I am star of the Sky that sees no Limit I break I fall and yet  When I shine I outshine all the Light ... Happy Birthday Angel  :) I often doubt, am I really an angel. Several times I attributed to myself the titles like - Stone Angel, Dark Angel or Fallen Angel - but I could never prick out the fact that I am not an Angel. Why? Why am I an angel? And then it says from deep down, "you don't have to find a reason for what you are." Around 5.20 am , she asked me, "Won't you wish something today?" , I looked up at the dark clouds for a sec , smiled and then nodded hard, " I would , I would , I would." and then I said, " aasmaan ka ek katra , aur wo hissa jisme mera birghtest star ho."   When we wished each other, my mom blessed me with the words, " zindagi ke sahi matlab samjho... ek din samajh jaogi.. aur tab tak samjhna jaari rakhna..."  I am feeling grateful for everything. Everything is so wonder...

Two Hours for Soul

Two hours. Two long. Too much. Yet too less if I sit by a half-closed window and sun rays tickle my eyes play with my hairs and kiss my lips. Too less to thank God for all good he did.  Too less to observe the life as it flows.  Too less to love each moment as it passes by.  We run and run whole life and it is passed in a twinkling of an eye but our soul carries the imprints for eternity. The Soul was an empty vessel when it began its journey but the time allowed Soul to fill itself with pretty flowers, beads, gems and magnificent things. Whole life we keep on fulfilling the needs of body and neglect our soul. Wouldn't it be wonderful to pause for some minutes and give sometime to our Soul.  To observe the cycle of universe and feel yourself a part of it. To rise above the petty problems of the day and feel the magnificence of Being. To fly with imagination to the unknown worlds of fairies, kabilas, gypsies, forests, mountains, ocean. To let the...