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S.J : Uncertainty

Yesterday, she met reality in her dreams. It was all crimson n glossy. She met it again today in her maa's tears. Each day is a day that will become a sweet memory after some weeks. How awful the feeling is that future is so uncertain. It might bring fragrance of lavender , taste of raspberries and portraits of Bahamas' deep blue water. But it may also bring shadows of unknown world, pebbles on the way and polluted air. But let that be... she won't think beyond today and... beyond him ...
She knows it pretty well. No one is there to tell her this but she understands it all - the changed weather, the whispers, the changed routine chart, sudden responsibilities, new lessons... she will be another home soon. There is no other way but to accept the reality. She is ... doing it uncomplainingly. Somewhere deep in her heart... she knows... she too wishes the Change. But how that would be? Uncertainty Again. What does one do in Uncertainty? She missed her friend, who in spite of showing that he doesn't care, cared the most. She missed her world. They all think , it is still there. There it is, but is it there in the same way? Things change. Although the universal fact it is, it surprises, it hurts... and hurts eternally.  

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The other day
you talked about
Pets and strange names
So I too found a name
For my lil kitten

I named her Guilt.

When she broadens her
Big blue eyes
As if pleading
I feel so watery
I don't want her to leave
And she finds me anyway
To play the secret games,
We both are loyal.

I am loyal to my lil Guilt.
I am!

My Krishna

When I saw
What was not given to me
I complained to you
When I saw
What was given to me
I praised you
Was I not enlightened,
When I praised you
Was I not you
When I tried to be yours
Was I not found by you
When I was lost

I am only yours
My Krishna!
I am only yours! 


Sheesham was in kitchen, counting the whistles of cooker, kneading the dough and boiling vegetable, all through she wondered why would there come days when she did not like to do anything at all.
It does happen with many people, yeah... But...
Sheesham saw her sisters, other acquaintances, elderly women...all seemed so self-satisfied. Could she be different? More self-indulgent? And one day, she was caught up with a word 'Ambitious'. She was reminded of all the heroines, fictitious and real, who were ambitious, who believed in their true worth.
That night she tried to speak to her husband. She said hesitantly, "I want to do something..." And she saw a huge, grand, leafy tree emerged, grew and grew so tall in the eyes of her husband... She closed her eyes with fear and wished earnestly not to become if to make them belittle in their eyes.
And, it's a sin to be tallest in the community of dwarfs, she told herself later.