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S.J. : Fear

Its Fear. She had been trying not to think about it from long. Today is the day , perhaps.

Its fear of listening to one's own heart. She thought it once and accepted after a long tussle with her heart , that her heart lies. It all started some seven years back. As a child she believed strange things but since no one could prove them lie, she was happy, happy with her heart in her own world. But then people began to come into her life. Who brought Realities. Who brought Beliefs. Who brought god-knows-what-things. And then it began. She listened to her heart and each time realized that it lied to her. Who was the best friend earlier, her heart, became the most hated thing. She began to hate her heart for it told her sweet things that don't exist, it told her to have faith on strange people, it told her it was love when it wasn't... She is afraid, she ... her heart said she loved him... while ... she ....

She wouldn't be able to believe her heart ever. She wouldn't ever come to know when love would really happen. Was there anything left in her life... after voices, shadows, blood, imaginary deaths, suicide attempts, all those night terrors and shameful incidents that she survived , she lost it at last from her heart, a heart that ever lied.

Comments

Anonymous said…
heart ... a mystery heartfelt... growing into youth from adolescence, tilting to the mind over the heart, getting into the universal paranoia ... every body wants to dampen the beats of vitality n embrace practicality ...
but happy is one who can turn the table, develop an unshakable ''reverse paranoia'' ... n as u say '' just believe '' that someone out there is plotting meticulously for u to be happy ...
heart will beat for u but its some more time before u appreciate understand its language ... till then be optimistic :)cheers!!
May 23, 2012 at 12:49 PM
@ngel ~ said…
I don't know about the Optimism. But I have Survived the tests.
May 24, 2012 at 5:32 AM
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