"I do look good. Dont I? Specially in this frock?"
"Oh yeah that floral print suits you." Kunal smiled with some effort. How could I miss that expression. But was I me at that time?
"Kunal..." "yeah?" " I want that ice-cream." I showed him a vendor-boy. "You cant eat that you know , your throat isn't well yet." "But I want that I want that I want that." "Okay okay fine.... bhaiyya one kulfi... yeah...thank you...," looking at me with so caring eyes he said , "take this." I took the kulfi but it wasn't as cold as his eyes... why is he so cold with me? why doesn't he laugh as he used to... has anything changed? "Kunal... " , his expressions changed , his eyes contracted , he was prepared for another whim , "yes?" , " I ... I am cold..." "take my jacket" but I wanted you... "yeah thank you". He isn't fine. "Shall we go to home?" , "okay... Bhaiyya... Madho nagar ... kavya go inside..." He is still afraid if I would throw myself out. Is he afraid I am going crazy? Will he... go out of my life? No he wont he loves me he...cares for me... then why...why is he so cold... so...c..o..l.."
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"Kavya ... Kavyaa.... KAVYA please wake up... doctor... she has opened her eyes..." Kunal had my hand in his , clutched tight and I felt a pang somewhere in my consciousness... why am I again awake? Why doesn't I die peacefully? "Oh kavya how are you feeling now...?" " I ... I am fine.. but did I throw myself out?" " No you didn't do anything this time. You had fainted in auto rickshaw. And then I brought you hospital directly." "but...how... I ..." "Relax doctor says that you were distressed and had nervous weakness and that's why you fainted suddenly." "Oh... okay..." I looked into Kunal's eyes... they are afraid as if they have seen a ghost , they are caring too , but... they are still cold... too cold... "Kavya you will be fine soon you just need to take proper rest , lets go to home." I looked down , looked inside my head , into my eyes, I can look through the ghost , probably the one Kunal saw , I went blank , I turned white -pale and finally blue..."I will stay here for sometime. Please go. Leave... take rest..." I closed my eyes...shut them tightly. That ghost , the ghost of voices had taken its power over me. I jumped down from a tall building. I am there inside the graveyard. In that white frock and with white flowers , laid down in a coffin ... is it this cold dream that has entered into my life? Can the voices be so strong as to gulp you down its giant throat? The voices ! That lavender fragrance ! and... "oh my little princess ! my daughter" "oh mother mother where were you?" "I... I was looking at you from there" and she pointed at the black moon. There is no place for confusions. Mother has put her warm hand on my forehead. Everything will be pleasant. A mother can never lie. And the night , although it was a day , passed so peacefully.
Can a dream come true instantly? I felt a loving warmth in my palm. I opened my eyes Kunal was rubbing my palms. I smiled. He smiled back. His smile and even his eyes weren't cold. "You have smiled in years?", I said, "Yeah?" We both laughed. "You have smiled in years too... that baby-like smile." He kissed my forehead and then cheeks. I held his head close to my face. His black eyes... dark black eyes... was like two dark corridors... I searched a light , a gleam , even a flickering gleam... but I heard a voice coming from those dark corridors , a whisper "I love you... Don't... don't be so cold...away from me..." And I shut my eyes tightly. The coldness... the dark corridor... the voices... no I'll be fine... I'll be fine... I clutched his hand tightly.
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