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S.J. - how it feels like

" If you ask me how it feels like ... well I would say... it feels like you have given yourself to the winds, fierce winds, and you know not, where they will take you..." S.J. spoke to an old friend , who listened to her as someone listens to the voice of train coming from far away.
 " I know, it sounds very alien... it seemed to me as well half an year ago... but soon you will find yourself in the same line. Everyone around us, has almost same experiences but then everyone thinks his/her's is unique..."  ... "I don't want to think about it." soyo, her friend said. "Its a sign that you haven't accepted what you should have, when it chokes your heart... accept it soyo..." "You don't sound happy... is it a bad experience.?"  " No... not a bad one... but for a bird like me, not a good one either." "What do you want then, a final thing?"  " I don't know... you know what... I have stopped thinking... I just miss some old days, but that's it... I have surrendered myself to him... and yes, what I want is, I never ever regret this... " 
Both the friends began to look for the last rays of setting sun... S.J. hummed in her heart some forgotten lines - if only I could tell you how it feels like... 


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The other day
you talked about
Pets and strange names
So I too found a name
For my lil kitten

I named her Guilt.

When she broadens her
Big blue eyes
As if pleading
I feel so watery
I don't want her to leave
And she finds me anyway
To play the secret games,
We both are loyal.

I am loyal to my lil Guilt.
I am!

My Krishna

When I saw
What was not given to me
I complained to you
When I saw
What was given to me
I praised you
Was I not enlightened,
When I praised you
Was I not you
When I tried to be yours
Was I not found by you
When I was lost

I am only yours
My Krishna!
I am only yours! 


Sheesham was in kitchen, counting the whistles of cooker, kneading the dough and boiling vegetable, all through she wondered why would there come days when she did not like to do anything at all.
It does happen with many people, yeah... But...
Sheesham saw her sisters, other acquaintances, elderly women...all seemed so self-satisfied. Could she be different? More self-indulgent? And one day, she was caught up with a word 'Ambitious'. She was reminded of all the heroines, fictitious and real, who were ambitious, who believed in their true worth.
That night she tried to speak to her husband. She said hesitantly, "I want to do something..." And she saw a huge, grand, leafy tree emerged, grew and grew so tall in the eyes of her husband... She closed her eyes with fear and wished earnestly not to become if to make them belittle in their eyes.
And, it's a sin to be tallest in the community of dwarfs, she told herself later.