S.J. - losing in the arms of sleep

She wore a black scarf today. It was not his death anniversary... she just... she wanted a Change. She didn't bring tulips for him today... she picked few roses.. particularly red ones... and put them at his pillow side... 'no it isn't too lonely...it is lovely...' in months, today she felt like speaking to herself. Today she opened her old diary.

"... i am lost i am lost i am lost... but then, if i am lost, did i know i was on the right way? and if not, what matters if i am truly lost... i might land on the right way now..."

Does happiness always feel far away? in the past? or in the future, you would never visit? She tried to concentrate. There were so many places that gave her happiness. She tried to visualize one... what she wanted now?...umm... friends? party? hang-outs? beaches? resorts? long drive? mountains?... did she wanted to be alone? or to be with him? ... with him.. but that should not break her in parts.. she should feel herself... yes...she knew what she needed right now.. n where she needed to be...hot water spring...and a nudity to feel herself... each part unifying with her whole... while they both feel like first man and woman on earth... they both feel gratitude for each breathe they take in, for each moment they are together, for each flower that gives them smile... nothing is hidden... no secret exists... its all within this moment...

...and she loses herself in the arms of sleep... she had never, never had such sound sleep... a blessing...it comes unheeded, when u r truly lost...

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Just b-e-l-i-e-v-e!

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