Just b-e-l-i-e-v-e!

Now a days I am dating .. yeah ! Dating Myself ! :D Sounds great , right? Ah! Its not that I don't have anyone to date with ... really ! But I love to date myself.. its fun + its safe :P So , yesterday was feeling low , no no definitely was not in doldrums but I was physically not well... Well , I didn't sleep   2 days n 1 night , and I felt somehow this night is gonna be the same - sleepless waking nightmare kinda..  But don't know suddenly from where I got a superb idea - to enjoy my illness , to keep busy myself in one or the other thing so that I could forget all pains. I sat on net, and charged my mp3 player , it was almost 12 am , I desperately wanted to sleep , my eyelids had become heavy , but no , I just couldn't lie down on bed. And I felt a bit hungry too - as whole day I didn't eat anything except bread.  Ah! suddenly , my heart leaped , face brightened as soon as the idea factory got started... what about a classy date?? Mind argued - At this hour?...

I am getting  weird thoughts and feelings these days , among them one really glowed within me.It is like that the word "Nothing" is like an empty bowl - but never take an "empty bowl" for its "emptiness" , never forget it contains the air. Same with the word "nothing" ,  it contains one or the other meaning each time you speak. For instance - you are sitting idly and your friend calls up and asks - "Hey maddy wats up? wat r u doing?" And you cut short in one word - "nothing"... but are you not sitting idly? You are doing at least something. Again , if you are in love with someone , and he knows nothing of it , every time  you are thinking of him and he asks - "wat r u thinking?" You ignore deliberately and say - "Nothing" ... here Nothing means more than any "everything" can mean.  "Nothing" can not ever mean "nothing" and sometimes it means more than "everything"....

She was on the brink of mountain. She put out her one leg . Her eyes was looking through the mist.                                              Suddenly Vishal clutched her from behind.  Are you mad? What the hell you think of yourself. I want to die Vishal. He slapped her tightly. And started walking without taking her hand.  She sat there looked through the mist.  Meaningless mad Words were coming out of her mouth --- u said .. u loved me.. u love me.. u hate me.. i hate myself.. but i love myself too...i love u too... i dont know wat is love.. but i thought it was love.. i am afraid.. i m lost.. y it happens.. y we have to live.. y cant we die... y we want to die... see the evening... see the clouds.. they r .. they r .. so lovely... so happy... i want to become a cloud... She didn't know when Vishal came and put his arms around her. He gently kisse...

[I would have never written again about Jeanie or her life but I couldn't hold back when I got to know about this accident .] Jeanie is in a hospital. She tried to cut her vein. She would have surely died if only her good hearted neighbour would not have taken her to the hospital. Its been 3 days She neither spoke to anyone , nor cried and never smiled. The doctor who is in charge of her is really worried to see her like this. From the day she opened her eyes , she did nothing , spoke nothing , asked nothing , only cried and that too silently. To see her eyes always drowned in tears - doctor was moved. He always tried to engage her in a conversation but then she would not reply , not even look into his eye.  (On Sunday morning. Around 9 am. ) Doc - Good Morning Jeanie! J- (No reply) (Jeanie is gazing outside the window which is in front of her bed, where she is sitting.) Doc- ( uncomfortably ) It is a sunny morning , isn't it? I love mornings . Do you l...

They said -  -- Annoy -- Irritate --Suck d blood --N Suck d life too From her body n Soul But She is - --d Earth --d Ocean --d Sky --d River Can you annoy them? Can you take out life from them? They are elixir of all ill souls.. May they cure thee! May God bless thy ignorant soul!

The Breeze said , Dew Drops aren't so sacred As your tears -  A tear dropped down so tersely. The Night said, My darkness isn't so amiable, As your fears -  My fear clutched me more furiously. Moon said , My moonbeams aren't so loyal As your heart with your soul -  I put my hand on my heart. Heartbeats , beating fast In drum like discipline, They said slowly -  We are with you  Countless in number   Like small diamonds of a rich necklace,          One by one  Living and dying In soft cadence Say, thus,  they to me -  Meet us in silence Meet your soul too because we are here just by you For you, And only for you....

Vicky was my boy friend in Banasthali. He was the only one who would make me laugh whenever I was depressed in that dull and monotonous environment. I met him in my first year. How can I forget that time - those lovely days! Our hostel was a big one - and my room no. was 30 (I am so possessive for no. 3 so I took it intentionally) . Well , my neighbors were only people with whom I had any good relations and they became my good friends with time . Their room no. was 31 the last one in the wing. Well , as Banasthali is a women institution , Boys are strictly - Not Allowed. But I was talking about Vicky. So  how I met him ! It was an accident . One morning he came to our hostel (still don't know the reason) . And in my first year I was a bubbly girl , used to jump in corridor , and where ever the music played , I was the first person to dance and create a environment of Masti and Fun. Well , that morning also I was in my usual cheery mood. As soon as I saw a different creature than Gi...

I wrote my feelings ,  My emotions , my old stories ,  My fears , my dreams On a wall On a dove - white wall With a dove - white chalk I wrote them  On a white glow paper With a white glow candle. Now Read it! Why can't you read it?  You said you can read my mind, You can read my eyes, Were they only hollow words? Was that a pseudo love's expression? Now Enough! Enough of your sugar words! I will not be allured  I will be smart and shrewd  No more will I be sweet and submissive As I have found my early youthful mistakes And that how naive I was. Now! Hush.... No more enticing words I know the acid Truth Which has burnt me deep But it has woken me up  From deep sloom of a lie ...

Why the hell we are celebrating women's day? - Ask Yourself and Tell me. I had it in my mind to write about women as it was their day yesterday. But I couldn't write anything , because I think I have developed antipathy for almost all special "days" save Festivals. Festivals have their own charm , they are like a break from normal dull routine and their purpose are  religious , social and mental . But what about other special days? National days are good. But we have almost forgotten them . That is the irony of our modern life - we remember all trifle things while we tend to forget important dates and days.  So, all of you celebrate Friendship day , Valentine's day , may be others like Rose day , Chocolate day .... and yeah Women day , which is as trifle as all these days. No , I think Friendship Day is more serious among all , at least we do not pamper our friends or make new friends on that day , neither we forget them after wards. But take Valentine'...

Read John Keats , my mind was already perplexed coz of his thoughts on beauty are really of complex nature. And now I watched American Beauty ! Great Movie! But I regret I couldn't watch it properly. However ,  one scene of movie , I can not forget. Its when the hero shows heroine his video clips and among those clip , there is a clip of , "Dancing Bag and lots of yellow leaves" ... He says - There are plenty of beautiful things in this world , and I am afraid I would not be able to capture and store all of them . His conception of beauty more confuses me when he shoots a dead bird and upon being asked why he is shooting it , he says - because it is beautiful.  Beauty --- The only word , brings all pictures in front of our eyes , which we think are beautiful . They may be , face of your beloved , rain at night , high mountains , your baby sleeping in his mother's arms , lovely blue frock which you wore on your last b'day , a night camp - fire with all of your...

I have a net friend , whom I met today itself. He  is preparing for IPS . This poem is dedicated to him. It is a mockery on wives of cops who adore them and idealize them as a brave cop but they are always complaining of their job only. It is a funny contradiction in their nature. A dreamy wife of a cop Oh my ideal husband! Oh my dear ,dear cop! You remember that letter Which on my b’day you wrote? How lovely it was! Full of lover’s tales Replete of my praise And love’s woe’s gales . In my dreams at that time You would come as A brave cop and more brave Or holding medals in dress. But my sad heart will cry So sad at noon and night, When you will be far away On duty or some fight. Love! Oh my dear love, Oh my brave dear cop! Why you need to go away from me, Why you need to do this job? Now! Don’t turn away your face Hold me in your arms Hold my gaze, tell me Don’t you love my charms? Oh dear! Be just my lover ! And Adore my art, You have conquered the world If you have...

Sometimes I think I am an over trodden way, An over used paper, An over ridden bicycle, An over sung melody … I am a guitar , An over played old guitar, With broken strings And had lost love of player. I am a leaf, Proud of being at liberty, But suddenly broken into hundred pieces When crushed under your feet. I was a life once I used to wear smile Now my weary eyes Wear dark circles only Thick , round black clouds of sinful days. I was sunk in lust Ignored your love’s Ganga Lost in abyss of Hell Avoided your call of Heaven. But … Oh ! Vile you left my hand To let me sunk more in mud To let me drown more in death Why ? Why didn’t you hold me tight Why didn’t you fight And get me back If you say you really Loved me? Why you left me on my destiny Didn’t you know? Love could change the Fate And bring back even dead from Hell’s gate?

                                   “Wot z ur nem?” June broke the silence first. “Mine? Oh… I am called Siddhartha.”… “seddaratta??”… Siddhartha could not stop laughing at the funny accent of June. Then controlling his laugh , he said looking into her eyes , with adding soft touch to his voice , “You can call me just Sid .” “Sid… luv da nem … ven did ye born sid?” “Me? Well… on spring’s first full moon night.” “Det sounds relly romantic..” and with saying this June twinkled her eyes. Their eyes were still locked into each other’s eyes … a long moment’s silence made them forgot all differences between them : earthly and heavenly .  Suddenly June’s gaze fell down. Sid didn’t notice the change in June’s mood , he was still stupefied  by the immortal beauty of this angel. June without looking at him turned her back and begins t...

 - 1 June was wandering in the woods to collect her favorite flowers from which she will make a crown of flowers .  She walks with agile steps and sometimes she stops for a second to look at her dress – a purple pink gown ,  “Wow! Thiiz a prity gown…..How nice me feeling wid it” . She has collected so many flowers – soft white n mushy purple little flowers. After this she searched a place where she could sit and make her crown. It was a small rock near stream . Happy she was as today was her birthday , she sang beautiful melodies which mingled with the soft breeze produced a heavenly effect. She was so lost in her singing that suddenly she realized a background music to her song was coming from the other side of stream. She abruptly stopped singing and after a minute music also stopped. Curiosity lead her to other side of stream, but alas! No one was there. She went into woods too but then she heard no sound and no inkling of the sound too. She was walking rather sad...