Just b-e-l-i-e-v-e!

I think I would be dead by the time I finished my Ph.d. what the ---- is that I am already bored. I am tired. Not with only books, reports,unnecessary pop-ups but also with marriage parties, gossips, same faces, same rituals, same food and same worries. I have begun to worry a lot. Does that mean I have joined the Club "30s" - the age that brings lot of worries with it. About career, shift, kids, their childhood and troublesome teenage, house, parents oh....endless sufferings. I never wanted to become a part of it- the boring cycle of life. I wanted mystery, adventure, thrill, mission - altogether a different life. Sometimes (like today) I feel like leaving everything behind and go out in the world. I feel trapped. And you know what, I understand its all planned. It is like the movie As Above So Below . You are meant to be there, the trap is set for you, you feel lost, you lose hope and those who do they never come out but those who put a little effort and have faith they ca...

What a fabulous topic to write! Thanks to Garnier and Indiblogger to give us a chance to discuss what is generally not discussable. Pimples! and not just pimples, it is moreover dull, deadly, uneven skin which makes people ask -are you not well? are you sleepy ? mood off? eh ! so irritating. It does not matter you are a housewife and stay at home all day long, your skin goes so dusty by night. People say, do not use soap, cosmetics or try any new brand but what is one supposed to do then? Now a days you do not dream to look like beauty queens Madhubala , Madhuri or Marlyn . You are just fine if you look like yourself. When you watch Ndtv Goodtimes' Band Baja and Bride , you wish if you could also go through the ideal Cindrella's make over. But that is not for all. Being a middle class  average looking girl , you have to discover a magic wand for yourself. via: http://www.garnier.in/ Acquiring the traditional ayurveda knowledge , you know that for oily skin Neem ...

All my life I didn’t do anything than dreaming. And the tragedy is, I feel contrary to my dreams. For example – I dream to be a great poet, writer. But I feel I am a better critic than a writer itself. Another one is – I dream to have a royal job where I don’t have to do much and get a fat salary but I feel I am better at challenges and management. Whew! So, I decide, no matter I run after getting a fat-salary-job, I would do my best to keep alive my other talents. I had some school-time-dreams like – Opening a Club, Being an editor of a quarterly or periodical. Seriously…! These are my childish dreams. But I see them fulfilling in near future. Yo! I have already opened a Club. The name is – LOL (Live Our Life) Another instant name like My-World. Well ! All I know is – I am not born to live inside four walls. I am not an Aquarium Fish. I am born to be a Name. I am.  via: Google images

via : google images It was a fresh start of the new year. I formed a Club, at last. I spoke to the all important persons in my life. And on top, my mom-in-law gave me the year- end -trophy with - " The award of your struggles in the kitchen is that everyone has begun to like your food." :p Thank God ! It has ended. The morning of 1st January 2015 was a little depressing. But I am full of hope now. I have so much to do. Club responsibilities, duties as a daughter-in-law, Goa Tour in Feb, First Anniversary, Phd projects and the College Lectureship Exam in August - aww I am packed! :D Guess what ! I love my life. I see hopes for my future. I feel if I give some extra efforts and passion, I can build it any way I want. And I feel Young :P Loads of love to this life , which gave me soooooooooomuch more than I ever asked for. Love for everyone who make it Special. @ngels r always @ngels ;)

"One thing you always miss?" Her dear friend asked S.J. , when they met after a long time. " A dream." "And what is that?" " It includes everything I don't have." "oh...you always talk in codes...could you explain that? "Of course...I want to ... the dream includes...me from the past...and he ...and freedom... a world with no rules... unusual talents... spirit..purpose ." " well ... i get all but what is 'me from the past' ? "I was not S.J. always.... long ago I was so innocent with a darkness always lingering upon but I was still innocent ... I was then called, Jennie.  I miss her, you can't imagine how much I miss being called Jennie, with love. Anyways, I have come so far. I have chosen a different destiny. In fact, sometimes I feel I have become someone other than S.J. " "hey...what are you talking about ? Are you even in your senses?" "...yeah...yeah I am. I am not S.J.n...

She hesitates, feels ashamed and guilty talking about her own sister. She is her dark side. what she couldn't be.  S.J. Sat in a dark room. Wondering what is that which is pinning her heart to bleeding. What kind of a dark side it is. ,"oh why do I miss her " "why do I yearn to call her, hug her, kiss her " " why my heart feels for her" " she is not that bad... All she needs is love and attention like a small child who goes mad when he does not get what he wants." "I miss her so much. The times we spent together. Shopping, eating out, spending money carelessly... Oh... How I wish I could bring back the old times... For this world is so mechanic and cruel that there so few people who care to Live who dare to Live. " 

"It has been so fast and swift. I didn't realise I have changed. A crimson mark on my forehead changed my destiny." Long ago, not much though, I knew a birdie. A small red eyed with creamy pink soft feathers. Two of them lived in a cage. After they grew up that red eyed birdie flew away, left the cage behind and flew away. The second birdie together with others cursed her, announced her doomed. But nobody heard anything about the red eyed birdie.  After a long time of this incident,  the bird who was left behind realised it was not she who left her folks  but herself doomed who was left behind the cage. S.J. Looked at the vast dark sky and sighed, "Freedom comes with a price."

I am going through a severe identity crisis. I don't know what is identity crisis but I think it is what I am facing. Though it may not be a big issue what girls go through after marriage but It Is. Let me ask a few questions in general. >:) what if one day when you wake up you find everything has changed from your parents to home to lifestyle. Everything. >:) The food preferences has been changed. How would you react when you crave day in day out to eat your favourite breakfast and lunch?? >:) And moreover, what if wearing clothes get changed to Dressing Code and Conduct. I am tired of living a life according to other's guidelines. I am really tired. You know something inside you begins to die and they say you have grown old Now coming to the point,  Identity Crisis.  I am struggling to maintain my old lifestyle together with the new one. I am trying hard not to forget what I had been, what was my favourite food,  favourite time pass, what I was enthusi...

Christmas had always been very special to me. I don't know why. I always want to celebrate it grandly. If I had My money in My account, I would have spent much of it in picking up the gifts for everyone I love. Even as a Hindu, Christmas is  special to me because on this day, and from this day to the first day of New year, you can sit down, slow the pace, relax a bit, look back at the trail of Big year, do a bit self-analysis. You can also, plan n prepare for the new year, take resolutions, make some promises and care to share happiness around. Well I guess, the first promise which I am going to make right now is - to be like a child and never miss to celebrate the Christmas . Love the life !!! :)

I don't know what... . mising somthing badly