Just b-e-l-i-e-v-e!

As soon as you get what you had prayed for, you tend to be unthankful and complaining. You wonder, what if you had chosen another option ? But nothing makes any difference. You just circle around and reach at the point where you are meant to. No matter what way you choose. S.J broods about human behavior and how it is never contented with anything. The clouds are very low today , the weather very serene and ... was uneventful life when you could just dream without having the risk of any outcomes in the real world better ?  The world out there is dark , grey , shadowy ... the only solace in this world of crowd is her own heart ... " will I be able to love him...surrender myself...?" S.J looked away, her mind was clattering hard but her heart tried to calm the voices of her mind... her heart said, " no past no future just live in the moment... just live the clouds live the green hills life the empty road just live the going on and on ... " 

You know wat its very funny you wake up in the morning with a weird feeling that you had been sleeping very long and all that happened till now was just a dream

" If you ask me how it feels like ... well I would say... it feels like you have given yourself to the winds, fierce winds, and you know not, where they will take you..." S.J. spoke to an old friend , who listened to her as someone listens to the voice of train coming from far away.  " I know, it sounds very alien... it seemed to me as well half an year ago... but soon you will find yourself in the same line. Everyone around us, has almost same experiences but then everyone thinks his/her's is unique..."  ... "I don't want to think about it." soyo, her friend said. "Its a sign that you haven't accepted what you should have, when it chokes your heart... accept it soyo..." "You don't sound happy... is it a bad experience.?"  " No... not a bad one... but for a bird like me, not a good one either." "What do you want then, a final thing?"  " I don't know... you know what... I have stopped thinki...

I so wish you cloud live without the tension of Becoming something. But the problem is no where outside. Its in your mind.

" Always circumstances come to reveal the hidden weakness that have to be overcome. " (The Mother ; Looking from Within )

I can't think of a single gift that I might ask for on this bday. I have got plenty...more than I could ever imagine... I am Grateful.

Its my birthday tomorrow :)

Has my Wait really got over?

Last night I saw a horrible dream, I saw I was being sold out to any one of the three men, who wanted me at first  but then changed their thoughts. I was a thing that sold to no buyer. There, you lose your sense of humor and want to be No one rather than some one who could have a price.

You know what, I am really tired. This all, warrior, angel...its a pretty game. But I am tired to play it for so long. I know in my heart what I am. I don't like no games now, give me some peace, that's all I want.