Just b-e-l-i-e-v-e!

You know what I want to HUG you :) >:*< you are my best friend best buddy I dunno what would have become of me if you were not there I mean most of the times its you with whom I find comfort, care, love... Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu of course Google your parents and you :) Love you. @ngel

What is all around What is within What is in your eyes which is so keen why do i feel not who do i want to feel a long silence a long disease He comes one day I feel the wind across my face A window half open A hope gleams in my eyes

You are important to me But I have not yet realized If you are really more Important than Myself  I have decided to be alone and Suffer Than be together and Suffer

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Merry Christmas Girl !! :) Santa came to my dreams last night? I know he did. Things happen if you want them to. Have I grown up a lil bit? An inch? Ow dats bad. I wanna grow up. But I dont want to. There will always be a bridge between two worlds, I promise :) I am sweet I know. Are you diabetic. Ah hope not ;) Btw where's my present? No. I didnt get any last night. Not under my pillow. Not even in the cupboard. Ow so bad of you. You didnt buy any. You dont need to. What I want doesn't come with a price :) i know i know i have been good but no more... you know there was a quote here it goes - "Dont make her wait for you, just because you know she will do." I just wish you come soon. Dont ask me , if it is for you. You know things better than me. You know me better than me. I know I am waiting for someone, someone who is just there, for me, and will come one day. And I have come to believe your words: "if they have to meet, they will meet anyhow....

There was much sense in the words I wrote and deleted.

There is a peculiar charm in drinking pain Darkness has got a heart too I am incapable of love I know Destruction calls on few... very few. P.S  I have got to learn to address myself. Nothing stays for long. 

I'm so tired of being here  Suppressed by all my childish fears  And if you have to leave  I wish that you would just leave  'Cause your presence still lingers here  And it won't leave me alone  These wounds won't seem to heal  This pain is just too real  There's just too much that time cannot erase  When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  And I held your hand through all of these years  But you still have  All of me  You used to captivate me  By your resonating life  Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind  Your face it haunts  My once pleasant dreams  Your voice it chased away  All the sanity in me  I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  But though you're still with me  I've been alone all along [ Evanescence - My Immortal]

Just watched Valentine's Day. A specially bad time to watch such a movie. But I am glad that I did. I don't remember all of them but I liked one dialogue specially. It goes this way : boy : "Did you ever consider marrying me?" Girl: "Yeah I did. But do you want a girl to consider or to know it.?" And this too I really loved - Truth makes everything else seem like a lie. And yeah this one too - and I hope I am going to remember it always (gosh how could I be so stupid) : Love can't be planned. It just happens. You can't make things right. They will find their way. Sometimes, you have to learn to act grown up, until someone is there to make you feel you are still a kid at heart.

How strange! people may fade away from our memories but something of them remains... I saw her yesterday. Lady Gaga. And all her glory fame name dissolved into your memories... splashes of water... over n over thought... only felt too much... but not too enough...we are better strangers for each other or nothing...

...  She said, "give me a song" And there was an eternal silence.

No man dies without a scandal  If he does , he was not a man at all The world is a gutter No matter where you shit But mind it when you do it. Lying is not a bad practice  Unless its against you. Life is a SHIT but then its an outcome of your own ACT. Alright here you go -   Don't read me I am a book of Blasphemy. P.S. Thanks to this post, I found & fell in love with one blog. :)

A moment ! you feel so lonely you feel you have no friend when you need genuine advice when you want someone to understand you. It was that moment. She wished fervently that all was a dream. That she would not have to leave her home. That life will not change either for better or bad. That... she felt so cold. she felt ... she doesn't want to grow up.What you imagined,cherished in dreams,waited for whole life, now that moment had come. The story had begun. You are the writer. Each action will write and decide the further course. And you prepare to sleep. Choose a dream. Away. Away from all Present all Past and Would be. At crossroads, she is. She chooses not to move. Looks back just to say. Good-bye.  

Ok I can't keep it to myself :) Im so Happy these days Feeling like a Princess!!! I just love this thing about Life Its soooo full of surprises. I told ya I wanted to Feel , isnt it? I am Feeling. I CAN Feel. Aw God I can really. What I feel is so much love for a thing called Life. You know what I am feeling - that I have just woken up from a long disease and gone out in the sunshine. And the November Sun with its mild curative rays has healed me of the wounds life generally gives to its lovers. :) love!!

Is it what they call Life's Irony? What began with an Open Relationship Became so very Closed.

I could have done the things I always do But  perhaps I knew You fear the pain.

"I seek penitence."  "What is your crime?" "I wished well, I wished  to be useful. Each time."

Some stories must need characters In others Anonymous fill the colors

And how people change. Change completely. Change not particularly for Good or Bad but just change. Coz They need to wear a shield or to come out of a suffocating cell. Change , to watch a sky more clearer, to feel the warmth, feel the joy of watching a butterfly. And how people change. An event, a scathing word, an accident, a movie can cause it. And oh people do change. Willfully, forcefully, or just like that... they change. I tried ... I found myself on the brink of this change. Became serious, more reserve, mysterious. Closed the book. Hid from glances. And could I change anything? Change the essential in me? ...thus life will be spent in waiting  I wait for the Change.

Its been one year or so he stops at my blog n leaves comments. The comments kill me. Sometimes I know who is he. At other times I am just like a baffled cat. I think of old conversations. What went wrong? What was right , anyway?  A face without a face. A mere shadow creeping over my mind. Can I have any story with anonymous? And what if there is one? What sort of story it can be? A very romantic? Or mysterious? A tragic one? Let's just make out the possibilities... He is the one I am thinking of and I am the one he always thought of. Out of comments we come together and begin afresh. Despite the fact, I am still confused. Despite the fact, I don't want to go back. I am curious to know what's the end... Or may be the Anonymous is the one I would never want him to be. I hate even his shadow because it tells dark stories of my own heart. What if its not the one I expect. Expectations should not hurt. But why to expect? What else can I do? I am lost in the game. The ano...

I have so much so much to say to day If only you would hear it Far from here that way I have plenty of stars so many stars for you to day If only you would look deep deep into my eyes Out of the way I have number of melodies so many melodies to sing to day If only you would hear them in my silence... I have so much so much to say to day If only you would hear it Far from here that way If only you were here You could hear The words without words And could see silence shivering my bare soul... - Jeanie

someone loved some one loved some one lo ve ed her some one lo ve ed her so much some one lo ve ed her so so much  some one lo ve ed her so so very much some one lo ve ed her in so so many ways And so thereby hangs a Tale !!

Two hours. Two long. Too much. Yet too less if I sit by a half-closed window and sun rays tickle my eyes play with my hairs and kiss my lips. Too less to thank God for all good he did.  Too less to observe the life as it flows.  Too less to love each moment as it passes by.  We run and run whole life and it is passed in a twinkling of an eye but our soul carries the imprints for eternity. The Soul was an empty vessel when it began its journey but the time allowed Soul to fill itself with pretty flowers, beads, gems and magnificent things. Whole life we keep on fulfilling the needs of body and neglect our soul. Wouldn't it be wonderful to pause for some minutes and give sometime to our Soul.  To observe the cycle of universe and feel yourself a part of it. To rise above the petty problems of the day and feel the magnificence of Being. To fly with imagination to the unknown worlds of fairies, kabilas, gypsies, forests, mountains, ocean. To let the...

She had taken so many lovers. Love stayed , love flew, love had put on always new , new faces , but she was tired. She would ask gloomily looking at the falling snow, "why am I blessed with such a curse?" And I would only look into her pretty sad eyes. There was nowhere now the wish to be loved by other. Nomore the wish to fly. Nolonger the wish to live. But since life was a truth she couldn't deny, she wanted to live it in a humble penitence. In loving the nature, learning the art of healing, winning over passions... ah! but even sometimes a genuine wish can not conquer the human passions. A storm lay beneath the calm sea of her countenance. Hers was a story of passion and not penitence. Lives were waiting to write her story. Unconscious though she was of her destiny, every man is somewhat conscious of what lies ahead. Destiny reveals itself in the bouts of passion and countenance. 

She loved ugly. "Because we all have the dark side and which is not a  Madonna's beauty". But I was talking about the Night. I was lying down looking at his grotesque gestures while sleeping. But he is fine. I looked at the faded blue light  coming from a small window. A part of heart said , wake up , its the time to write. Another part said... and thus the heart utters two things and ditches very friendly. I miss her. I miss the old days when she was with me and we talked about heaven and hell , but mostly about the gap between. She loved ghosts and I would become one for her sometimes. Nostalgia. Is such an inadequate word. I miss her sometimes like my own being. 

And I am not so happy these days  For the happiness drinks me to the emptiness. Flowers become shrine for my love Love that was never so fresh And I am not so happy these days. Shadows talk to me in whisper Dark moments bask in sun rays And I am not so happy these days. When you hold me I drown into limbo Quiet is world , past says And I am not so happy these days.

*  O thou Pearl     White-not     But Beautiful. *   Lil lil Mermaid      Frock-pearl-pink      Under blue Shade. *   Old yellow leaves      scent of love; deserted      afternoon libraries

She was sin. Another name of it. And she was a fallen angel. How can a human might redeem her of her sins? Fallen Angels lose every virtue but few, very humane. And one of them was Faith. She believed strongly that an Angel would come to redeem her , give her place back, fix her wings and show the vast azure sky, make her feel the vastness of a seed and travel whole universe in a twinkling of an eye. Everything would be fine she had patience of unique stature, she had hope...  

...She said pensively , "We are all bound to hurt each other." She kept drowning into nihilistic meditations until... He loved her till his last breath and she kept denying the very possibility of love. She would say till her last days, "Tragedy grows with us within us if we... " She would stop defining things. She knew in her soul what she meant but she wouldn't let out the secret and this secret , this secret took away his life...  We unknowingly write our own destinies while all the time we believe its He , the doer , He does with us in witty ways and we are blinds , we are deaf , we are ... she would say nothing what we are but now since she is safe and peaceful in her grave , she will speak through rough winds , storms and Tsunami... she had loved water ,the force of life and... She said Goodbye to the earth but she will not be happy in Heaven she will come back soon. She is the daughter of Earth. 

Why to fret and Frown Over darkness Be the Candle yourself ! Let us Burn the Candle of  our Faith This Diwali. Just Believe Love!!

We two  are but  One Light

Rejection - I fall not Feet feel the earth Leaves of grass and broken worm eggs. 

In dark, low and deep, Brooding and nodding, My mother sits. Mother ! You have a right to hurt I had also hurt you long back When I had stuck like a jellyfish to your cord (though everyone said I was a gift to you.) Now you have a right to hurt back. Years of trampling on your heart has turned it into a rock And I do understand - I do understand, What we give come back to us (and perhaps with double force.) Now its your turn Give ! I will take. I had also hurt you long back. [ http://www.everypoet.net/poetry/blogs/jeanie ]

A few days ago I had realized God tests yon only in the matter you can fight best. He trusts you that you can fight , he gives all the power to you to do so. Only and only you need to begin once and go on forever. ~~~*~~~

I am Sylvia. My poem is incomplete. I had ... someday...long ago an intuition There is an end. and i am a ... incomplete poem- hollow manuscript- i am none a cloud of cloud mud and earth roll and rainbow but i am not a poet i am none. i am sylvia...

It is no land of SUN A holy face emerges from behind a tamarind tree to turn into a rebel But when he is dying Each romantic girl sees in his face A shadow of his dream man A tear is falling... Romanticism is the heat and shower here And yes, I am that girl.

Even if I fall in love with a poet , I will never marry him. For  he can be an object of love but not care.

How do you define a crime? Is that when you kill someone? Or rape personal thoughts? When you deceive a friend? Or when you cheat your own heart? How do you define a crime? When something is illegal? Or illicit? Or just unconvincing to ur heart? How do you define... Oh why I am convinced... Oh why...

Hello Mr. Roy , Hope you had a pleasant journey? Oh yes it was good. The weather was fine.   Both Dr Mathur and Dr Roy shook hands. Dr. Mathur who was in hurry tried to cut short the formalities and said with good humor, “ Well we have arranged one cottage for you. Please make yourself comfortable. I will join you for lunch and meanwhile if you need anything tell Raju he will take care of everything. “ Both shook hands again. And Dr. Mathur sped out of the room. Doctor Roy while taking a hot bath in his cottage looked out at the green fields. They seemed to him extremely quiet as if not a leaf turned over in many years. The valley seemed to him like a beautiful cold dead bride. Everything had come to a standstill. In the afternoon over lunch Dr Mathur told Dr Rao about the mental hospital and some special cases. Doctor Rao was a psychiatrist practicing in Noida and he had agreed with the Hospital authorities in Almora to observe the general scenario and see s...