Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Monday, June 25, 2012

When life takes a TURN


Wednesday, June 20, 2012


"You are as beautiful as a rose", he had said that day and since then her story with roses began. It wasn't very dramatic but she thought of it often twisting and altering some parts and played it in her mind. She was in high school when first she got a rose on Valentine's Day. She threw it in the backwater but again it came back  to her after an hour. Roses are desirable but they are thorny. They demand too much of attention. And it so happened that on her next Valentine's Day, when her eyes tried to fight with morning sun rays, she spotted a bunch of four pretty roses beside her on her bed. She liked them, admired them, but they were devoid of fragrance. She wanted to keep them as long as they would stay. But undesirable things move out on their on. So they did too. And ... and there was one day, he asked, " what do you want." She wore a blank expression, not knowing what exactly she wants. "See! this outfit looks fab on you, try it." 'No, thank you.' "No no you have to take something..." 'Alright.' She didn't know why she said that. 'Here! a rose', said she pointing at the female sitting on the footpath arranging her rich flower shop. It was dark enough but she felt his eyes sparkled. He, perhaps appreciated her forthright honesty. While she just didn't want to trouble him. He asked for roses. There were none with long sticks. But there were another with full of fragrance in numbers. She accepted them gratefully. It was her moment. She and roses and night and the moment. He paid the woman a hundred bucks. But roses don't live that long.

Was it only her home where roses didn't blossom? She wondered looking at her neighbour's garden where roses were bounty, all , red, pink , white. But never a rose plant stayed more than a couple of days in her own garden. It made her sick sometimes. It made her desperate. And at worst, it ignited her desire for a rose, a rose that she never saw but  existed somewhere, a rose that tested her faith and a rose worth dreaming of... a Blue Rose...That was it.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

She welcomed the rains...

We rain together /iNeedChemicalX
And the Summer went on its way. She stood in silence at the window towards west , admiring the flowing river. Her sighs at the wonder. her smiles to herself, her chirping at the sound of rains tapping at roof , thus she welcomed the rains in her own way. Had she already forgotten the Summer? May be seasons knew her better than she thought she knew them. She knew them by their names, they knew her by her changing moods. Yesterday she spotted a Rainbow. What a gift of rains! so early ! and so Glorious. Next moment she received a message , there came floods in the north-east region.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Summer bids adieu

There were times she could really go as if she doesn't care. But this time, now, she feels it was something about certain Uncertainty that she had to fight with. Summer bids adieu. Why don't you let me go , she whispered to the going summer. I know you secretly turn back to look if I am fine. I know you do. Why don't you let me go... and the summer blew its Hot Wind, but kept on moving. Why do you come back in my mind, she said more intensely. And the summer snapped Yellow Leaves from their dear branches but kept on moving. Why do you hide your severity from me, why don't you show what you are and the summer... , it went on and on, running from its shadow, hiding from its fierceness and gave way to the more gentle Rains. But could the rains, more gentle, more soothing give the same feeling?
Could it ever rouse the same thirst?

still from "Goodbye"

Saturday, June 16, 2012


V - Its fear of attachment.

J - ... for the first time perhaps... we are on the same lines.

Strah od koje se mogu naći po kaeldra

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

When I will be gone
I will be more happy.

It should always be this way.

Monday, June 11, 2012



Most Ideal

a dream

I love it yet the Distance has come between.

 Or may be I would like it the same way.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

I am star of the Sky ...

I am star of the Sky that sees no Limit
I break
I fall
and yet 
When I shine I outshine all the Light ...

Happy Birthday Angel  :)

Green Angel Painting

I often doubt, am I really an angel. Several times I attributed to myself the titles like - Stone Angel, Dark Angel or Fallen Angel - but I could never prick out the fact that I am not an Angel. Why? Why am I an angel? And then it says from deep down, "you don't have to find a reason for what you are."

Around 5.20 am , she asked me, "Won't you wish something today?" , I looked up at the dark clouds for a sec , smiled and then nodded hard, " I would , I would , I would." and then I said, " aasmaan ka ek katra , aur wo hissa jisme mera birghtest star ho."  

When we wished each other, my mom blessed me with the words, " zindagi ke sahi matlab samjho... ek din samajh jaogi.. aur tab tak samjhna jaari rakhna..." 

I am feeling grateful for everything. Everything is so wonderful. 

When I was all alone for two hours in the morning , I watched Big Fish (2003). Really, there could not have been any other Perfect day to watch it. All was planned? Eh... honestly, I could not get the intended meaning out of the movie. I am not in hurry. I believe it will reveal itself to me gradually. 

The movie begins with the words, " There are some fish that cannot be caught. It's not that they're faster or stronger than other fish. They're just touched by something extra. "

And then... "You become what you always were - a very big fish. "

(Something that I had been thinking about in the morning. Isn't that strange? Things you chose turn out to be the Things that chose you. )

And then I played the game that I mostly do. I chose a character for me, on its first appearance. Actually the girl's name had been Jenny , so I thought, " Ah! She is me. Lets see now what's her role in the story, and that would be mine. That would be a surprise." And... it actually turned out to be a surprise. Initially I had thought, perhaps she doesn't have any prominent role in the movie, but later... I was surprised by her story.

When the Jenny is 8 and Ed Bloom is 18 , she tells him - 

Little Jenny from Big Fish
Young Jenny: Promise me you'll come back 
Young Ed Bloom: I promise. Someday. When I'm really supposed to. 

When later she narrates the story to Will Bloom, Ed Bloom's son, she says, " First time he came early , next time, too late." Next time he comes when both are married. 

Jenny: I loved a man who could never love me back. I was living in a fairytale. 

Eh ! Jeanie, wouldn't it be your favorite quote  -  Senior Ed Bloom:  Sometimes, the only way to catch an uncatchable woman is to offer her a wedding ring. 

And to sum up about the movie. Well it was not 'ME' , not completely 'ME' , but here you find one bit of Me -  

Senior Ed BloomTruth is, I've been thirsty my whole life. Never really known why.

Am I pretending not to be thirsty, these days? Ogh... One who has seen me on the terrace every morning wouldn't ever question that :)

Anywayz, I had planned to blog in the night. But that doesn't matter. Does it? : ) 

hello sunshine ❀
for you, love of my lifetime :)

Mom ! I still can't decide, whether I am yours or you are my SunShine? You are the true light, that has guided me at every point, only I regret, I realized it too late. But its neva too late right? Not had been with me in your case. I am so so so glad , God gave me this chance to stay with you and feel like - a lil girl again With loads of Love , Wish you a Happy Birthday Mom :)

P.S. - Do you think, I can forget to thank you my dear Blog? :) Why ! I would be so Lonely without you. You are my window to the Second World. Love you and thank you for being with me all way long. 
And yeah...  Its such a beautiful day. Isn't it?  :) 

Love and Memories !!

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