Sunday, December 27, 2015



I have not been a trained dancer. I have never learned any dance form be it Indian or western. But since first class in my school, I remember myself participating in Dance performances. I have been crazy about dance through out my school days.

I have quite wonderful memories related dance and my craziness for it. In my co-ed school, I was the first one to prepare girls-boys dance (although that could not succeed coz boys fell in love with girls and it ended badly) (Laughing out loud).We were also first one to dance on slow music, kind of couple dance (this time girls playing the roles of boys.) (It was still a bold step for a school function.) I had choreographed many dance performances, and my favorite one was a Mujra which we performed on the Annual Function in my 12th standard. 

I love organizing dance functions , so I have organized a couple of dance functions in my Colony. For an organization, I have taught dance to kids for many years. It gives me immense pleasure and satisfaction when a kid knocks my door to ask, "would you help us preparing a dance." 

Later, I was in the Banasthali University, where it was hard to enter into dance performance for Annual function. So when I got a chance to participate in a play, I did it. From there I turned towards writing. I became an editorial team member of our college magazine. After that I never got chance to perform on a big stage. 

But I still love dance and fancy to become a dance tutor and performer. Dance is one thing that boosts my creativity and gives a sense of soulful Living.


Thursday, December 24, 2015

A Dog in a room full of Mirrors

I had an idea, and I began to write a 50 word fiction. As soon as it crossed the limit 50 , I tried to cut and alter. Anyways ! I couldn't do that. So here's what a 50, later 100 and now 148 word fiction has become.

As soon as, Wahida and I stepped out from our Aunt’s house, she chuckled and spoke into my ears, “ oh my God! How honey-coated words she was speaking, how well she was behaving with me … though she is not as bad as I thought.” I thanked god, for my sister behaved nicely too with my aunt.

Wahida was trying to stay away from society. It has been four years, she stayed alone at some part of the country. Meantime she grew hostile towards our folks because they did not treat her nicely during her trouble times. Today’s incident reminded me a story of an angry dog who saw his own images barking at him, in a room full of mirrors. And when another dog came in waving its tail, all dogs were doing the same in return. 

I began to wonder, which Dog I have been recently.  

Uncertainties - 50 words Fiction

These are two inter-related pieces of Fiction in 50 words .

"Right now, I am standing in a pool of uncertainties."
"What would you do then Jeanie?"
"I will just relax and float. I know I am not going to die that way."
" But still, what would you live upon?"
" Faith. He will place everything in its order. Sooner or Later."

Jeanie, after nine years, looks out from her kitchen window,
the sun was hazy, the flowers smiled profoundly at her. 
At Eleven, youngsters began to hop into her Book café.
Her dream café, it was.
She felt immense proud at her establishment and
her book, called “The Book of Uncertainties.”

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Till the end of the world

"Till the end of the world
I will follow you !"
He didn't.
She said looking at the heated Sun,
"Its Still Okay !"

till the end of the world

 There is Love
There is Care
and yet ...
she chooses to take a boat
at a lonely sea shore
and moves on
till the end of the world

Christmas once again !

As I was walking on the less-crowded road today, I realized why do I love Christmas more than any festival. As I walked on the road, I imagined the gift shops, lighting, kids playing around, the decorated Christmas tree, people busy in buying gifts for their friends and family.

Yes this is the reason why I love Christmas. I love gifts - both receiving and giving. And Christmas is the festival of Celebrating together and exchanging gifts.

On Diwali,  you toil hard for 2-3 months to clean the house, repaint it and prepare refreshments for god-knows-who. Diwali is a festival that demands lot of work to be done.  On Christmas, there is a little preparation and lots of fun.

Practically I have never celebrated it on a large level. But I wish to. In my childhood, my friends knew I love Christmas, so they would bring me cake and I would buy gifts for them. Sometimes it feels, nothing except friends truly care about you love. 

One day I really wish, on the Christmas morning I would see loads of gifts in front of me.

And one day, I would secretly like to, send some precious gifts to those I love. And I would  hope they would never come to know  that it was me. 

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Pink City - The Queen of Cities

image by - Vivek Kakkar
Could anyone fall in love with a city so much so that when you are away you miss the City, in spite of your loved ones ? The answer is YES  (in Bold and Capital). Though India is a very diverse country and all cities have their own beauty and peculiarities. But the cities of Rajasthan are magnificent because of their glorious historical sites and the stories living there. In West India, in the state called Rajasthan, my beloved city is Jaipur. The cultural heart of India, Pink City Jaipur is a Queen of all Indian cities. Its a well-designed and an interesting blend of Tradition and Modernism. Jaipur is a city of Art, Culture and Heritage. It personifies Elegance, Grace and Luxury.

image by - Vivek Kakkar

Jaipur is not only rich in culture and arts, it’s also a very well-planned city with a blend of modern and traditional architecture. The old city was planned with Indian vastu shastra by Vidyadhar Bhattacharya in 1727.  Design is the core of this city. Walls are painted pink with traditional white mandana designs. The reason why Jaipur is called Pink City is because of its Pink Walls throughout the  city. “The historical reason for the uniform colour of central Jaipur lies with the absolute power of the Maharaja (Sawai Ram Singh) over his capital and his extreme strategy to impress Prince Albert during his 1876 tour of India.” Thus at that time Maharaja ordered to repaint the entire city. The color was terracotta pink as this color historically represents welcoming and hospitality. Since then Jaipur wears Pink color, which indeed looks very pretty.  

The broad roads of the city are a luxury for those who love to drive. Except for the Bazaars of Old City (Suraj Pol, Chand Pol, Bapu Bazaar etc.), entire Jaipur has broad roads and pavements on roadsides. My favorites are two Parallel Long Heart-line roads of Jaipur – Tonk Road and JLN Road. The short drives from city to Jal Mahal , Amber Fort, Nahargarh Fort are exceptional. Weekend drives to nearby places of Jaipur is a true luxury and what if its with Tata. Tata Motors is a pride of India and a synonym with Innovation.  

image by - Vivek kakkar

 And in the end of the story, if you have never been to Rajasthan and specially Jaipur, pack your bags, gear up your Four-Wheels TATA and come to Jaipur. Connect with the local arts, experience Marwari culture, taste the lip-smacking Marwari food (especially Daal-Baati) and breathe in the magical aroma of Rajasthan. For an unforgettable experience, visit the nearby villages (like Bagru) in Jaipur to know the art of hand block printing and don’t forget to visit Chawki Dhani, a village-entertainment resort to have a glimpse of Marwar. While if you are a lover of books, films or Luxurious stuff , you can make a trip of Jaipur around Jaipur Literary Fest , Jaipur Film Festival or my favorite one Fairhex Fair in August.

Meantime, watch Lionel Messi playing amazing football and go through TATA MOTORS to check out amazing products and deals. Remember, its made of great, just like my Jaipur. 

Monday, November 16, 2015

What is life : JLT

Everyday this questions comes to my mind. It is not that I think a lot, but thoughts just happen to me.
What is life? No word, sentence, paragraph or book can describe it, I am sure. But tit-bits of thoughts might ?

I had read a quote somewhere, it sounded so true - "Life is what happens to you, while you are busy making other plans".  Someone met with an accident, someone got cancer, a dear one died prematurely , and so on... Life happens to us, while we are busy making other plans.

Sometimes, all of a sudden you feel , whether the decisions you took, all of them, were terribly wrong.

As it is...

Every girl desires a secret love
an anonymous lover
a mysterious love story

Its weird 
but I strongly feel
you are there
you read me
every word, breaks
between the words and empty spaces

I don't know who you are 
but I strongly feel
You are connected to my soul.
You are there!

if only...

An old Track
An old love
An old mystery

if only ... 
I could know you more!

A secret wish
A secret love
A secret life

if only...
Life had given us one chance!

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Life is a Mystery

Yesterday I have been watching Brahmakumari's serial. Sister Shivani was discussing about Karmic account and past births. She told, the body is a costume, 'I' is a soul. Once we have this knowledge that 'I' is not this body but the soul which have been same through all past births, we can easily accept the fact that - Whatever is happening to me, I am Responsible for it. This is Karmic Account. Whenever something Bad Happens , we question why, why me, how come and etc... but once we have accepted that I am the only one who is responsible for it. So, its Okay. Karmic account got settled. This is the easy way to let go and not create the vicious circle by adding more complications. 

I loved her logical talks, she said, with every new generation children are depressed, frustrated, and feel heavy load from an early age. It is because, we are in debt too deeply, our Karmic Account is full with heavy debt. In this Yug, our Bhogna is depression. 

It is so depressing even to talk like this.

But it is all so true. I see only one way to come out of it - 
  • Leave EGO (that is, the image attached to your body) , 
  • Only Give, don't expect return.
  •  Do not create new fuss ( we are already in so much debt),
  •  Let go of everything . Say, Its Okay. Karmic Account got settled.

And why I am talking so seriously, on the NEW YEAR DAY (Ekam after Diwali) ?
May be , because I need to. Sometimes you need a Nirvana Dose, to come out from the Fuss. Sometimes you really need to know how and where you can Change, go nearer to your Life's true goal, and that its getting already too late.

Wish you an Enlightening Diwali and New Year.
And of course, that's the truest way you celebrate an Indian Festival, pondering upon the mysteries of Life. :)

Thursday, October 15, 2015

S.J. - Quietness

Doesn't it happen with you? Like... when life is going all fine, all of a sudden, you stop feel anything about it. No future comes to your mind, no past lingers , no present stirs anything in you...I mean as if the wheels have stopped... all noise shun away... images pass by but no voice come from inside...
a quietness sweep all over...
a long long sleep... everything forgotten .... living in subconscious state...

S.J. asked herself what it is? why it is Now? She asked herself again,
Practicing stillness? No. Force stop to Thinking? No. Want to die? Not actually.
May be waiting someone/something to throw a stone to create ripples.

S.J. looked around, to see what she sees...

Thursday, September 24, 2015

One day without you

One day without you
is like silent lights of the morning
the hazy day 
pass away
I feel the world is all fine
and yet I miss your smiley sunshine.

One day without you
is like the cloud of midnight rains
clock runs 
at a snail's pace
I feel the world is all fare
but in the night at nothingness I glare

Oh! we pretend we don't miss each other
we show off we give enough space 
we 'give a damn' and 
say 'as if I care'
But what if one day 
one of us is no more there?

Sometimes, in a marriage, 
It is good to admit
that you Love
that you Miss
that you Care
that you Fear.
Sometimes, in a marriage, 
It is good to know that 
We are blessed to have them there. 

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

A House of My Own

A House of My Own

Open space, colorful flowers, far from city, no pollution, no noise. Less amenities, less luxury, a little but my own home. With my glass cutlery, a shelf of my dear books, a little studio of art works and vintage magic all over. 
       My half opened window and an eternity to feel the music of time. No hurry, no worry, time runs and stops at my wish. Serenity and peace ! 

Marriage is...

Faith and Doubt
Love and hatred
Illusion and Reality
Truth and Lies
Time and Eternity

Don't dwell on either part
The Art of Balancing
is an art of Living.

Marriage is an epitome of
This Art...

love in marriage

Whenever I read a male poet
and their poems of love -
sensual, deeply deeply emotional
pouring out all fears, faith
and cares,

I wonder !
Does my husband think the same way?
Does he feel soft, fluffy, childish ache of love
Does he desire me
crave, yearn, cry inside for my love?

I want to know
what does he feel for me?
how does he want me?
how much he want me?
But both remain silent as if
talking about love in marriage is a sin.

I was insanely curious until today
when he said during morning cuddles,
"I missed you yestermorning
I had to wake up my own."

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Just a Hello to Morning !

Hello morning !

I have been quite "down" from a few days. No problem in life - thats perhaps a problem for people like me. Not that I am too much adventurous, love challenges, struggle and all but... I am sure don't like a plain , simple, dull, boring life. I don't have anything to do except study and chores. Everything is fine and yet I have all sorts of regrets, frustration, feeling of demotivation and all. I don't know what to do !
Wait ! I think I know. I need to believe whatever I have , I can make most of it. I just can't let go of time and feel wasted. I have did it all my life. But now, I need to keep myself busy - doing little things I love. And I need to start Visualize - to the height of Living - the life I really WANT.
So please, wake me up early. Don't let me forget the promises I make to myself. And make me believe in the dreams I watch...
Love you always!

@ngel !

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Blogging in the Morning !

When ever I try to stay up and concentrate on my career, I fall down to my dreams of creativity.

I am drawn to Creativity.

But I have a strong notion that people often reflect what their soul contains.

What do I reflect or what I have power to Reflect , I dunno...

In the pool of black waters, I am struggling to go deep , in search of Purity, Beauty and Love !

Wednesday, July 29, 2015


S.J. couldn't stop laughing when Ree (an old friend from an old school) told her why they were actually Like-minded (because both felt Same in the Same situations.) Ree was sharing her mixed experiences after marriage. 

S.J. asked playfully , " Is it tough Ree?"

"As unexpected, yes it is," gravely Ree replied.

"Oh... what bothers you dear." 

" I don't know. It feels like Life has come to an end. I am not living for myself. All dreams have shed. I have totally changed. I care less, I live less, I dream nothing. I am in comma I guess." 

"Oh stop it. Look ! You are not changed. You have just grown up. Like after passing School , you have jumped into the college. That may be different, weird at times, but its not actually bad. "

S.J. saw Ree was not convinced, she was lost. For a second, in a flashback moment, S.J. recalled how she had cope up with her own changed situations after marriage. May be every girl goes through it but you are not every girl, your dreams, desires, fantasies and therefore expectations might be different from others.  Coming back to the present, S.J. smiled and hugged Ree and said,  "Ree you know what,  We think that life gets over after marriage, having children, getting retired or with the death of someone very close. But that's not true. Life is always there, showing itself in some moments. The moments in which you can hear yourself, you can talk to the person you were Always, you can live your existence and in half of a mere second you know who you are and why you are here. And you can only reach to your MOMENT if you are well connected to your Soul - after all - only she knows the secrets - what you were, what you are , what you supposed to be and what you Have to be.  Ree everybody gets the answer, only few dare to follow them." 

There was a light in S.J's eyes when she paused and looked at Ree.

 "And when was your last ... moment?" asked Ree as if not believing S.J.

 "Yesterday ... I let the raindrops soothe my burning desires, my dreams that didn't fulfill, my regrets that burn me deep. That was my moment when I lived my true self ... self unleashed. In that MOMENT I knew, whatever my name is on this earth, I am an Angel - Born to reach the true Heights." There was still light in S.J's eyes, when she looked up at the cloudy sky ready to pour down.


Weather is beautiful

Weather is so beautiful now. High winds and raining since 5 days nonstop. No work, no studies, just lie down and watch out the window. Dreams , fantasies, ideas... Oh yes! I wrote one more short-film  script, after our first effort turned out to be pretty cool.

I love this weather, it's so inspiring. Stories, comes out in the words. Pain, ecstasy, all raw emotions can be felt in just one single day.

I had a dream. I still think of it sometimes. That someday I would live on a high green hill, close to nature , in a natural way.

May be some day!

Tuesday, April 14, 2015


I thought I have got a straight road.
 I had forgotten the earth is round and all roads collide into one. 
I am glad to meet you again. 
You are handsome...but I can't see your eyes... I want to look into them.


S.J. is Somyaa and Jennie

Yes ! S.J. is two names for one person. Somyaa exists in the real world and Jennie exists in the mind of Somyaa. Somyaa has her world, her goodie life and a loving husband while Jennie is a wandering girl who lives on dreams and memories of a secret past. Somyaa married the man she fell in love with. Jennie has only the memories of a mysterious love. Somyaa is mostly lost into a world where real problems are ready to throw you down, where there is no time to think, where there is everything is plain and clear. But Jennie ... she is angelic, soft-hearted and more than a human. She is a philosophic creature. She wonders what is destiny, what is soulmate, what is past life?

S.J. series are the Thought-Stories of Somyaa and Jennie.
#p.s# I don't know what made me explain all of this today. Perhaps, Jennie is too confused and nostalgic. 

Sunday, April 5, 2015

S.J. ~ Again !

"I think I can't take the after-roles of an Indian bride."

S.J. wondered was she always a depressing kind of ? An unhappy brooding girl who always complained for one thing or another ?

" I think I saw him. He was the first one to believe , I was capable of Love."

All goes fine with everyone, but the disasters only happen to S.J. Why ! why on the earth she makes such horrible mistakes that she begins to hate herself?

" I think I can't ever go back to that beautiful dream. A married indian girl has no home of hers. "

She feels terrible about it. Like everything has changed just with one date.  Her home is no more hers.
And what she has to accept, she can't, its not easy to bend, is it?

"I think I need to fall in love with myself again. Into the world of mystery, magic and beyond the horizon."

Sunday, February 22, 2015

First Anniversary

The first year of marriage that too if you are staying in a joint business family - No comments.[:p] The first thing I have learned is to be Polite. I was always quite type which people take for politeness but after marriage I have actually begun to keep two Ps in my life - Politeness and Patience.

Well today just in code words -

1. I miss my home.

2. I miss the way my parents celebrated every occasion.

3. I love my hubby. Despite his tough looks, he is adorable.

4. I want a home of my own.

5. I want a sensible and meaningful life.

That's enough for today. Isn't it. However! it is the time for celebration.Its my Anniversary :) 


Thursday, February 12, 2015

Valentine's Day

As the Valentine's Day come
I realize
Love is not a thing to show
a thing to eat
a thing to pray
or a thing to dance with

it is
a word unspoken to yourself
a smile given to no one, but oneself
a good thought for all
and a kiss blown to life

it is
a thing to be felt
at anytime of life
at anyplace in the universe. 

Monday, January 26, 2015

I think I would be dead by the time I finished my Ph.d. what the ---- is that I am already bored. I am tired. Not with only books, reports,unnecessary pop-ups but also with marriage parties, gossips, same faces, same rituals, same food and same worries. I have begun to worry a lot. Does that mean I have joined the Club "30s" - the age that brings lot of worries with it. About career, shift, kids, their childhood and troublesome teenage, house, parents oh....endless sufferings. I never wanted to become a part of it- the boring cycle of life. I wanted mystery, adventure, thrill, mission - altogether a different life. Sometimes (like today) I feel like leaving everything behind and go out in the world. I feel trapped. And you know what, I understand its all planned. It is like the movie As Above So Below. You are meant to be there, the trap is set for you, you feel lost, you lose hope and those who do they never come out but those who put a little effort and have faith they can come out of it, because there is always a loop-hole. One just needs to find that loop-hole. I am trying my best.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Garnier's Pure Active Neem Face Wash : A genuine product for oily skin

What a fabulous topic to write! Thanks to Garnier and Indiblogger to give us a chance to discuss what is generally not discussable. Pimples! and not just pimples, it is moreover dull, deadly, uneven skin which makes people ask -are you not well? are you sleepy ? mood off? eh ! so irritating. It does not matter you are a housewife and stay at home all day long, your skin goes so dusty by night. People say, do not use soap, cosmetics or try any new brand but what is one supposed to do then?

Now a days you do not dream to look like beauty queens Madhubala , Madhuri or Marlyn . You are just fine if you look like yourself. When you watch Ndtv Goodtimes' Band Baja and Bride , you wish if you could also go through the ideal Cindrella's make over. But that is not for all. Being a middle class  average looking girl , you have to discover a magic wand for yourself.

Neem Face Wash - Product Image
Acquiring the traditional ayurveda knowledge , you know that for oily skin Neem is the ideal remedy. Earlier people would grind the neem leaves and apply it on face. But who has got so much time these days? Then why not try Neem facewash available in the market? It is a tested and tried formula no.1. I have oily skin and if for some days continually I do not apply cleanser and toner in the night , it gets worse and develop pimples. The most beneficial thing is neem face wash , easy to use and no side effects. It is the same old formula now made handy for us.

There are innumerable brands in he market of cosmetics but have you tried Garnier? Garnier's Pure Active Neem Face Wash is a very genuine product. It contains Neem leaf and Tea Tree Oil extracts. Tea Tree oil is effective in a variety of dermatological conditions including dandruff, acne and other skin infections. Apply Garnier Neem face wash five times a day or at least three times that is - morning , afternoon and before sleep and you would find a clean and clear skin with less pigmentation than ever.

If you are using any other Neem face wash, I am sure you would like to try Garnier once. Here you go - . Just have a look , and who knows you may also find your magic wand?

Thursday, January 1, 2015

I am not a fish !

All my life I didn’t do anything than dreaming. And the tragedy is, I feel contrary to my dreams. For example – I dream to be a great poet, writer. But I feel I am a better critic than a writer itself. Another one is – I dream to have a royal job where I don’t have to do much and get a fat salary but I feel I am better at challenges and management. Whew!

So, I decide, no matter I run after getting a fat-salary-job, I would do my best to keep alive my other talents. I had some school-time-dreams like – Opening a Club, Being an editor of a quarterly or periodical. Seriously…! These are my childish dreams. But I see them fulfilling in near future.

Yo! I have already opened a Club. The name is – LOL (Live Our Life) Another instant name like My-World. Well !

All I know is – I am not born to live inside four walls. I am not an Aquarium Fish. I am born to be a Name. I am. 

via: Google images

Happy Beginning 2015

via : google images
It was a fresh start of the new year. I formed a Club, at last. I spoke to the all important persons in my life. And on top, my mom-in-law gave me the year- end -trophy with - " The award of your struggles in the kitchen is that everyone has begun to like your food." :p Thank God ! It has ended.

The morning of 1st January 2015 was a little depressing. But I am full of hope now. I have so much to do. Club responsibilities, duties as a daughter-in-law, Goa Tour in Feb, First Anniversary, Phd projects and the College Lectureship Exam in August - aww I am packed! :D

Guess what ! I love my life. I see hopes for my future. I feel if I give some extra efforts and passion, I can build it any way I want. And I feel Young :P

Loads of love to this life , which gave me soooooooooomuch more than I ever asked for. Love for everyone who make it Special.

@ngels r always @ngels ;)

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