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Showing posts from October, 2012

S.J. - losing in the arms of sleep

She wore a black scarf today. It was not his death anniversary... she just... she wanted a Change. She didn't bring tulips for him today... she picked few roses.. particularly red ones... and put them at his pillow side... 'no it isn't too lonely...it is lovely...' in months, today she felt like speaking to herself. Today she opened her old diary. 
"... i am lost i am lost i am lost... but then, if i am lost, did i know i was on the right way? and if not, what matters if i am truly lost... i might land on the right way now..."
Does happiness always feel far away? in the past? or in the future, you would never visit? She tried to concentrate. There were so many places that gave her happiness. She tried to visualize one... what she wanted now?...umm... friends? party? hang-outs? beaches? resorts? long drive? mountains?... did she wanted to be alone? or to be with him? ... with him.. but that should not break her in parts.. she should feel herself... yes...she …

Day 1-4 of my 12 Day Round Trip

Wao ! We had no plans. Just a faint line at the horizon that we could meet. But wao ! we finally met - a Banasthali get-together at Jaipur. It was amazing. Six of us - and just laugh about everything. :P Missing friends. Without them - Life is not so much a Fun... :)

Day 4-8 - of my 12 Days Round Trip

These five days were as if a Giant Tsunami wave roared in the sky to devour whole city but just another moment leaps back in the water and disappears. Yes, the wheel took a sharp U-turn and unexpectedly I landed on Krishna janm-bhumi on my fourth day of trip. So, isn't it, when God calls you to his Court even your wish doesn't matter at all? I was Called. I felt a ripple of secrete joy within me. I was thrilled. I wondered, if it was not me but God who was curious to see me? If I was not simply a bhakta but a guest, invited honorably.

Whatever it was, it was one of the most memorable trips. The five day excursion to Mathura and Vrindavan. I am filled to the top.

Days 10-09 - of 12 days Round Trip

They say, you can enter a temple only when God calls you. The dictum was in the core to my Trip. I didn't thought of, I didn't plan and yet I could make to almost all temples, everywhere.

Specially, I am gladly surprised that I get to visit Maha Lakshmi Temple in Indore and get to attend Maha Lakshmi puja next day. Isn't it all a Happy Surprise? Or just my mind playing a game with me? But all in all, I love change and it was indeed a pleasant change. :)

# Day 11- of 12 days Round Trip

This day became a milestone in my life. I read one of the most influential books of the world  - The Book of Nothing - Osho's commentaries on Zen master Sosan.

Days before I had set on the journey, my mom had asked me to meditate and ask God, what is my purpose?
After reading this book, I laughed at myself, because I always knew and yet it last few years of Material Race had made me blind to it.

"The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences."

Months before I had set on the journey, my mind had been clogged with the worldly game of Misery. I had forgotten my Wisdom- and my Heart's Voice, which would always speak Clearly in childhood. Remember, when heart speaks, Mind-logic are always wonderfully Silent.

" Do not search for the truth; only cease to hold opinions "

The whole day I was lost into Nothingness. A kind of Ecstasy , that even most beautiful words fail to express. And after that, slowly, softly, without noise, my life took a reverse …

# Day 12 - Of 12 days Round Trip

Yesterday I was in the company of my two Great Little Cousins , a two year old Gargi and a ten year old Soumna. Both are the example of "Ek se badh kar Ek" :D No seriously, Man, Gargi snatched my mobile and began to play, "Hello...hello... yeah baby main parlour me hoon. Bye." and I was like - :-O a big 'O' . 
Then Soumna began to chatter about how a thief entered their home and took away her mamma's purse. "Imagine ! the purse itself was for 700 bucks," said she and I was again like... Aww... :D  ... gosh... the kids are kids are kids...they can make ur mind cocktail and you yourself a 'dogtail'. They can make you a peanut, they can bring out all nuts from ur head, they can just give you shots one by one and you would feel so Lost at times... But at the end of the day I realized, how Adult I had become, why on earth I had forgotten there is a channel called Disney which plays Cinderella and Mermaid, there are other games than truth an…