Wednesday, December 12, 2012

its like this ...

"so how did you celebrate the day?"

" I slept, I watched movies and I spent rest of the time talking to myself"

"talking about wat?"

"talking about how long is the way, how plenty of time is left, and what am I going to do with dat tym."

"hmm..and what  are you going to do wd dat tym?"

"I am going to celebrate." 


P.S. - you know wat , each time I want to celebrate with you, I am left alone, I am left with myself. Life is not so much like the picture in my mind. Its plain and grey. But I have got colors in my mind, dats d whole beauty, dats d whole problem. But believe me, today is imp, I dont want to look back and feel I wasted it while I could have done much more. Before it strikes 12 , I am gonna make a memory, You are late though. But I will tell you wat I did, the day you come in my life...  Waiting for you ...


What! Celebrate it , it wont come again in dis life !

So , this is special haan?? 12.12.12 

Lemme tell you  - I need a hangover and a crazy laugh !

Was that me who was partying whole night, who had her moments, her crushes, her secrets, her night outs, her life? Was that me who knew how to celebrate by herself? who loved dancing ?

I will be here tonight. Just watch out ! I won't let the day go ;)

zaman tüneli fotoğrafları

Friday, December 7, 2012

The Warrior Princess #1


She couldn't believe what she heard, "What! no weapons? and only a band of fighters?"  The Warrior Princess looked down. For a moment, the world seemed all Black. She took a deep breath and told herself, it is fine, we will go with it.
She came out of her camp and looked at a little gathering of fighters, keeping aside her own nervousness, she spoke out first time after accidently being the Princess of a small hilly state, " Warriors! Friends! I know we don't have enough weapons, You know it too, but....But the enemies don't know. Show them we have everything , even those  which they don't have. Show them Courage. Let confidence be your edgiest weapon. Warriors ! Remember ! Not Giving Up, is your another weapon. Now lets go with it and we will see what happens.".....


Thursday, November 29, 2012

what's on her mind : S.J.

She walked that night silently till the Shade from where she could see the reflection of moon in the water.
The water looked purple. Moon light reflected in it but the whole picture wasn't as she imagined it would be. Ah..does it ever like that, She thought. It was quiet. But she wasn't alone. Lots of candles were floating in the water. It was not dark like always. She wondered... what has happened to her. Why she is... how could she take it all so lightly... She now turned left and looked at the reflection of lamp lights in water. It is always so easy not to fight with your heart... just let things be...let things happen...but would then, let it go be as easy?
Disinterest. Indifferent. Thoughtless. Nothingness...a dying wish...a dying desire...

and if you ask her what's on her mind
she will tell you - just go away quietly (as quietly as you came in) ,
I am afraid... I am ...i won't be able to make it...

The door left ajar.
falling / ►i.Anton

what's on my mind right now

Okay. If you ask me what's on my mind right now.
I will tell you, I am thinking about

Shopping :P

This TLC - What Not To Wear India (with Soha Ali Khan) has definitely made up my mind for bringing a drastic change in my Style. Thank you TLC ;)

And yes, I am ready to Experiment with clothes. Actually, I am dying to do that...

Check out this -







via- http://shopaholict.blogspot.in/2010/09/jacketsblazers.html


P.S. - When would I begin to live life, God! :O  
Life! get me out of here! 

Friday, November 23, 2012

JLT

 " You believe, its me?"

"Yes I believe its you."

Monday, November 19, 2012

JLT


"... Of late I have come to know,
the many ways 
of bearing the pain
gracefully."

Witch

It happens with some witches. They leave their dark rooms to see the light. Not because they dont love their darks anymore, they just fall in love with the light.

Witches? About whom you are talking about Grand dad? 

Oh.. none... just a girl I met ma
nyeee...years Ago.

A girl? Was she your girl friend?

Haha.. no ... she was not that type. No one could bound her in any relation what so ever. She was her own Princess... would only follow the voice of her heart ...

...and... did you love her?

Oh...no... not the love. Perhaps it was something else. ...she scared me sometimes... she was so powerful...

Grand dad tell us more about her please. Did she look beautiful? Did she have long hairs like Rapunzel? Did she have some magical powers? Tell us please...

Wait..... I told you. She was a witch. A beautiful witch. And yes she had powers. She could tell... what is in your heart...she could see your dark side. 
She lived in the town. Near my house. But once in every month she would visit a cave in the mountain. I did not know about it until ... until one day I followed her and... 

and what Grand dad?

ahmm.. and.. I saw she belongs to the other world. I realized we could never become at least in this life and I prayed that ... that we would again meet in our next lives...

Zoden suddenly looked at the children. They had already slept. He then went up at the window. Opened it slightly. Looked at the mountain far away, which seemed so small and like a little black match-box, under the moon-light in the night. 

... under the lamp in that cave, she was not my jenna... she was not the jenna I knew... she was not the jenna of our small town.. she had transformed into ... into a little star... she had fallen in love with his light and then she was gone forever .... 

Zoden looked up at the only star who was shining brightly in the sky. He thought, without this dark, would the star have the same beauty? He smiled a lost smile and curled up himself in the bed hurriedly...



(P.S. - The story is an outcome of a game played on FB group - My WorlD )

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

JLT

V - "...but you told me..."

J -  " yes... I did. Because I can lay bare my heart to you. I am not afraid, what you would think, perhaps all I care about is... always, forever, we would find something to admire about in each other..."

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

S.J. - losing in the arms of sleep

She wore a black scarf today. It was not his death anniversary... she just... she wanted a Change. She didn't bring tulips for him today... she picked few roses.. particularly red ones... and put them at his pillow side... 'no it isn't too lonely...it is lovely...' in months, today she felt like speaking to herself. Today she opened her old diary. 

"... i am lost i am lost i am lost... but then, if i am lost, did i know i was on the right way? and if not, what matters if i am truly lost... i might land on the right way now..."

Does happiness always feel far away? in the past? or in the future, you would never visit? She tried to concentrate. There were so many places that gave her happiness. She tried to visualize one... what she wanted now?...umm... friends? party? hang-outs? beaches? resorts? long drive? mountains?... did she wanted to be alone? or to be with him? ... with him.. but that should not break her in parts.. she should feel herself... yes...she knew what she needed right now.. n where she needed to be...hot water spring...and a nudity to feel herself... each part unifying with her whole... while they both feel like first man and woman on earth... they both feel gratitude for each breathe they take in, for each moment they are together, for each flower that gives them smile... nothing is hidden... no secret exists... its all within this moment...


...and she loses herself in the arms of sleep... she had never, never had such sound sleep... a blessing...it comes unheeded, when u r truly lost...

Day 1-4 of my 12 Day Round Trip

Wao ! We had no plans. Just a faint line at the horizon that we could meet. But wao ! we finally met - a Banasthali get-together at Jaipur. It was amazing. Six of us - and just laugh about everything. :P Missing friends. Without them - Life is not so much a Fun... :) 

Monday, October 15, 2012

Day 4-8 - of my 12 Days Round Trip

These five days were as if a Giant Tsunami wave roared in the sky to devour whole city but just another moment leaps back in the water and disappears. Yes, the wheel took a sharp U-turn and unexpectedly I landed on Krishna janm-bhumi on my fourth day of trip. So, isn't it, when God calls you to his Court even your wish doesn't matter at all? I was Called. I felt a ripple of secrete joy within me. I was thrilled. I wondered, if it was not me but God who was curious to see me? If I was not simply a bhakta but a guest, invited honorably.

Whatever it was, it was one of the most memorable trips. The five day excursion to Mathura and Vrindavan. I am filled to the top.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Days 10-09 - of 12 days Round Trip

They say, you can enter a temple only when God calls you. The dictum was in the core to my Trip. I didn't thought of, I didn't plan and yet I could make to almost all temples, everywhere.

Specially, I am gladly surprised that I get to visit Maha Lakshmi Temple in Indore and get to attend Maha Lakshmi puja next day. Isn't it all a Happy Surprise? Or just my mind playing a game with me? But all in all, I love change and it was indeed a pleasant change. :)

Saturday, October 13, 2012

# Day 11- of 12 days Round Trip

This day became a milestone in my life. I read one of the most influential books of the world  - The Book of Nothing - Osho's commentaries on Zen master Sosan.

Days before I had set on the journey, my mom had asked me to meditate and ask God, what is my purpose?
After reading this book, I laughed at myself, because I always knew and yet it last few years of Material Race had made me blind to it.

"The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences."

Months before I had set on the journey, my mind had been clogged with the worldly game of Misery. I had forgotten my Wisdom- and my Heart's Voice, which would always speak Clearly in childhood. Remember, when heart speaks, Mind-logic are always wonderfully Silent.

" Do not search for the truth; only cease to hold opinions "

The whole day I was lost into Nothingness. A kind of Ecstasy , that even most beautiful words fail to express. And after that, slowly, softly, without noise, my life took a reverse turn, and I am moving now into my childhood innocence, intuition and instinct. This day showed me, my way... which will take me to my True Calling. Soon. 




via-1stop-wallhangings.com

Thursday, October 11, 2012

# Day 12 - Of 12 days Round Trip

Yesterday I was in the company of my two Great Little Cousins , a two year old Gargi and a ten year old Soumna. Both are the example of "Ek se badh kar Ek" :D No seriously, Man, Gargi snatched my mobile and began to play, "Hello...hello... yeah baby main parlour me hoon. Bye." and I was like - :-O a big 'O' . 
Then Soumna began to chatter about how a thief entered their home and took away her mamma's purse. "Imagine ! the purse itself was for 700 bucks," said she and I was again like... Aww... :D  ... gosh... the kids are kids are kids...they can make ur mind cocktail and you yourself a 'dogtail'. They can make you a peanut, they can bring out all nuts from ur head, they can just give you shots one by one and you would feel so Lost at times... But at the end of the day I realized, how Adult I had become, why on earth I had forgotten there is a channel called Disney which plays Cinderella and Mermaid, there are other games than truth and dare, there are several little unnoticed things to wonder at....

p.s. - Loads of thanks to the cutie pies who just used their Magic wands and I forgot all stupid elderly worldly things and could really sneak-peak into my wonderful childhood days.  :) <3 div="div" nbsp="nbsp">


Just an informal sketch of my 12 days Round Trip. I am finding it easy to begin from end. So let it be .. and ..  :) Wow... it was a truly truly Amazing Trip...

Catch ya later! <3 div="div" nbsp="nbsp">

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I know where's my heart

I need a fresh start
I know where's my heart
its been spinning n whirling
n going round n round
it has been lost n found

I know where's my heart
its with the playing butterflies
its with his unspoken lies
its floating on an ice
its paying some price

I know where's my heart
I can trace it leaving my soul
And going to the meadows
Free fields, lands of sorrows
and that of Joy untold

Do you know,
There is bird in the red-corner,
Who hates and loves
its own small world o' cage,
She could die someday unknown
Having a dream in her heart to Fly
And she pricks out her own feathers each day.
Each day !
She needs to know she is alive



Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Mud


You can find it strange may be,
But I love a little vulgarity
Like, I love so much of divinity.
Yes, you can say, that's common,
But that's not my point,
I find it strange,
That I like it more when I say it,
When I celebrate my Knowing -
of the fact, that both are Me,
And I had been same
Dangling in my imbalance,
Over years and years ;

I remember that from our childhood -
The Lotus and the Mud
Both are inseparable,
Tied in a mystic bond,
And he says, "We need the Mud
in order to make the Lotus".

Lụa là - Silk by W.lotus

Thursday, September 13, 2012

And there is one...

There is one who loves enough. And never forgets the Birthday.
There is one who always let go. And never remembers the Day.


Monday, September 10, 2012

tumblr_l7j9xaye4a1qae13mo1_500_large


                         Some Questions are better Unanswered (~ V)

JLT

Few months before,
It was just a part of my dream.

I wish,
I would be saying 'above lines'
Again after a few months. !! :)

Saturday, September 8, 2012

happiness

Happiness means being close to the one you Love, that's all.

(The Museum of Innocence; Orhan Pamuk)

Untitled / Lucas Romanholli
via - vi.sualize.us

Friday, September 7, 2012

Memories are important.


(Vampires Diary, season I)

tiree beach study by scottnaismith
via - vi.sualize.us


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

its so easy to fall

My life is just like the chess game
I deliberately choose on the Black Squares
Even, when I know I would lose the game.

My life is like a snake-ladder game
I deliberately choose on the snake ones
Even, when I know I would Fall.

its so easy to fall
just leave the hold
and you are down , there
people throw a glance at you
and care no more
its just a part of walking,
playing, trying, living, 
all -ing...
the good thing is - you are still Moving.

Moving , leaving the grip, the hold, 
Falling down, standing up, start moving
the actual problem begins - when you stop 
Moving at all. 
There is some grace in Falling down too, 
But there is no grace in standing still. 

ban.do - nouveau bride

Just like that

V - What you do when you feel lonely.
J - I never feel lonely now...
(whispering to herself) I have sleepless nights, some of those that scare death out of me and I feel I should have died long ago...

beautiful

Monday, September 3, 2012

It would be so sad
to know what sadness is,
let us , oh dear! just
float on the surface now
we will know
what depth is within us
Later!

aleksandr munaev worbz.com

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Blackness Within

I will do that again
I know I will
In some near future
I will take a step back -
Turn my back on you.

I had a glimpse today
Of that rare image -
two heads, two bodies
And a Soul
Divided into Two.
I am not what I am Or
What I may be
I am all
What I have been and will be...
I am afraid , you see...
I rather be alone
And suffer on my own
in my desire to be with you
And oh its a shame! I need to be away...

Something.. its rather... not so shameful
to show your body
than your Desires... The whole Blackness within
Layer on to layer , the surface...

All you need is
Someone who tells you,
"Its just a bad dream, perhaps."

(by life-number-9)

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

fine art carnival photo - happiness

I dunno why, amidst all this uncertainty, I am still happy... :) Ty Anon!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I miss you more now !

To the Brightest Star

I have lost you Once
Twice
Infinite times...

Do I still deserve to have you back?

Monday, August 20, 2012

just a thought

If I would have said Lies instead of Truth in last three years,

I might have been more happy then.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Love for Anonymous


Just by chance, I landed on a beautiful blog and there ... 

Anonymous - IM DRUNK AND I LOVE YOU TOOOOO BABY XOXOXOXOXOXO 

Blogger - Always so much love on this blog best filllowrs ever :))) love you too!!’

P.S. - I apologize to use this conversation here, but I just couldn't help after reading numerous comments by Anonymous. He is... cute :) reminiscent of... my anonymous :)





Thursday, August 16, 2012

Monday, August 13, 2012

love.

If one line from him/her can make you Responsible towards your close ones,
Its Love.


Saturday, August 11, 2012

A Curse



I could just speak to myself !
For, even they gaze me with a Blankness
They do not hear
Me ; I heard I was a curse.

Above -
The basket of glimmering pearls
That twinkles to tell me
Its true - the angel hurls.
The angels ! oh !
Was I ever a believer?

It would be even worse
Not to believe
in your existence I doubt
But truly, I suffer more
When I doubt.

So be it- 
I accept I am a curse
And suffer in my 'embraced doubt'
For the pain is love
the loss, pain...
And wait is eternal - 
Who teaches a lot..

Scribbles

They think
I sacrificed
'They are too naive' I think.

Or I am too naive
in thinking that? 

----

An angel appeared last night in my dream
and asked , " why you roam alone
in this land of love
where's love is all and an end?"

I, out of my wits
tossed and turned in my bed
just as I was about to make a wish
The angel disappeared. 

A moment of Life, for its own sake...

" Are you still with some fears? " I couldn't ask helping myself today. I looked into the mirror that had a little cute plate dangling to it - My World. I am changed... those eyes... those front little freaks of hairs... I am much changed.. or may be its just an Illusion. I read her words - each letter expressed the Fear - of  loneliness, of deceit , of a new beginning. I could feel an affinity to those words - affinity that's past. Again, I looked into the mirror and found myself saying - I am changed. Or may be its just for the present. I was without fear. What's not there - is meant to be not there. Its simple. And expecting something to be there - so that it would kill my fears - is nothing but a bad idea to kill that fear. To bring the light, you don't do something with the darkness, you do something with the light. 


A blessing is the moment when you have Nothing to lose, No expectation to gain, and yet you are happy within. A pearly happiness that shines the early morning through your curtains... A moment of Life, for its own sake...



Friday, August 10, 2012

Long moments

There are some most beautiful moments
when in the emptiness of things around me,
I want to flirt with myself.
I know I have chosen it
to coax me, to make myself do the things,
I would not like to do otherwise.

There are some most beautiful moments 
when I do things
and I know I want to do it.
I can keep doing it again and again,
until I am tired, like a moth
circling around its own prize,
and decide not to do it anymore.

Then,
there comes some long moments of brief silence.

Ryan Foerster
Photograph by Ryan Forester

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

“I wish I had never been born--there or anywhere else. ” 



― Thomas HardyTess of the D'Urbervilles

She

For a long time they remained Silent.
He glanced at her and knew. She was not there.
With her gaze, fixed at Nowhere, she had moved miles. She had transcended. 







Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Forcing the words out...

It is about those days when I was posting so madly - 5-6 posts each day. Almost blabbering , as if , its not a blog , its my closest friend. So it is, but... that's Insanity.

Then I prayed fervently, that I would stop writing so frequently, letting my each thought out and having them laugh at me or probably worry about my sanity or rather feeling a thin sympathy, which I would have hated most.

I wished it so strongly that a time came when I got some control over me. Yes, I had to put some control, feeding my mind with movies and other stuff but... I did not write for a week, then ten days went by and I felt so happy. 

Today I am unhappy. I want to write - having so many thoughts running in my mind - having so much to share , to tell , to ask - but I am Helpless. Feeling something like - Paralyzed. 

Its a tragedy I am being used to now.
But I wish , Now, that one day someone would come and things would change.... I have experienced that Change once in my life. I want to experience it once more , for life time. 

Friday, July 27, 2012

'coz I wudn't disappoint myself

Tumblr

Memoirs of a Geisha

Memoirs of a Geisha ( Arthur Golden)




“Sometimes," he sighed, "I think the things I remember are more real than the things I see. ” 

“Waiting patiently doesn't suit you. I can see you have a great deal of water in your personality. Water never waits. It changes shape and flows around things, and finds the secret paths no one else has thought about.
[Mameha]” 


“Those of us with water in our personalities don't pick where we'll flow to. All we can do is flow where the landscape of our lives carries us” 




“We can never flee the misery that is within us.” 


“An en is a karmic bond lasting a lifetime. Nowadays many people seem to believe their lives are entirely a matter of choice; but in my day we viewed ourselves as pieces of clay that forever show the fingerprints of everyone who has touched them.” 


“How many times already had I encountered the painful lesson that although we may wish for the barb to be pulled from our flesh, it leaves a welt that doesn't heal?” 


“It was what we Japanese called the onion life, peeling away a layer at a time and crying all the while.” 
“You cannot say to the sun, 'More sun,' or to the rain, 'Less rain.' 


“The swan who goes on living in its parents' tree will die; this is why those who are beautiful and talented bear the burden of finding their own way in the world.” 







Tuesday, July 17, 2012

That's what !

I want Surety.

( And one can not give it to oneself. )

Saturday, July 7, 2012

A ray of hope

J :  Knock Knock who's there?
A man : A ray of Hope.
J :  Will you be there till end?
A man : I can't say, really, may be yes... but not too close.

Lonely


lonely by =alejka on deviantart

It is offensive
To tell someone
That you are lonely.

It is almost like telling,
'You have cancer',
Or If one is too lonely
It would hurt more to hear it.
It would almost hurt like hearing
'You are a whore, oh you pimp.'
I don't know - - - but it seems so
It would hurt more...
More, like - the Embarrassment,
on being asked by a beautiful girl, 
whom you desired just a moment ago
'you are not working? Oh ! '
Or like-  the Pain of 
'an old girl, old enough to get married',
When a contriver is always,
 Whispering in her mother's ears,
"Did it get fix somewhere?"

It is offensive.
You intrude in their lonely life
and get out so casually
as if it was some Museum Hallway.
And they - being so polite,
do not forget to wish you, 
'Have a Good day, sir.'

P.S. - I can't help being poetic these days. It seems, it is the only friend I can speak to.
No I am not lonely. But who isn't and who is... and does this all need an explanation? 

image source - vi.sualize.us

Tuesday , 5 am

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Sorrow




And there she sat
A mouth-full-of-sorrow,
hung low;
At twilight a flower knows,
not she?
It is the time to fall gracefully?
There she sat,
Under the fluorescent light of blue
In her decent clothes
With an old tabloid in her hands
She flipped the pages
and fixed her eyes at the most trifling story
And when someone asked,
'How are you?'
'I am happy', She replied,
Looking away,
Blurring all the meaning between.




Wednesday, July 4, 2012

What would it matter to you if I cease to exist or say if I disappear someday?

You would just look away with dry eyes and say to yourself, ' she was a nice girl , perhaps, I don't judge her but she was nice to me.'

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

She is a girl ' in love with her own ruin. '


















I am afraid again. My worst fears are coming true.

Sometimes you can sound Sinister.
There lies the whole fun.

On curse-ly gifted blogger and her blog

Oh. Its so disturbing to realize how subtlety your blogs are the mirror of your life.

I have five of them. I often create one and attempt to go on but fail, and fail terribly. I delete it. There is only one where I can go and cry if I have to. To whom I can tell my inner most dilemma and fears. But it has no constant reader. People come and stop by as if charmed by its snowy tops and deathlike beauty but they are afraid , perhaps, to stay for long, they pass by, perhaps adoring or just shrugging off. People who stop by are mostly of forgetful nature but the blog is not forgetful, not so much, it contains their aroma in little boxes. And the other blogs, well, they don't matter much, they are overlooked often. But it would be pain to delete them. They are there and the blogger is grateful for it, for they satisfy some urge of her, something of her Being. For her main blog, once in the beginning, she began a story , however changing amusingly during the periods, it sympathetically ended. Intervals and Interruptions were regular but gradually there began another story , story of herself, she thought it was better to throw light on Full of her than Fragments. Ah ! I am still amazed at this discovery. I can't help but to break out like this ... 

Yes... yes... I say it so fervently, my blog is just the mirror of my life. I am unreasonable so my blog is. I am unorganized and so my blog is. I am unpredictable and so you see the blog. I am quite hysterical at times , don't you trace this in my blog? Below , those two lines wouldn't suffice my emotions on this discovery, and so I didn't hesitate to show - what I am. Would anyone care about the blog and me and my expressiveness after hundred and hundreds of years from now? No. And this give me a push, to be myself. :)

To the stranger who bumped at my blog, 
If after reading this hysterical post, you happen to find it true in the light of your blog and life, pray, do express the wonder, I would be so glad to know. :)

Ah ! yesterday I watched Closer. And this address to stranger comes from there. I just can't help tracing my unconscious, symbols and parallels. I am so curse-ly gifted. :P

P.S - As I have terribly killed my wee hours of studies, I must go religiously with the rest of the schedule. However , with the exception of , stealing two hours to watch another movie - I guess it should be - Spring, Summer, Fall...Spring. 
There, today she went through few blogs and suddenly it dawned on her :

My blog is just like my life, people don't stay here for long.

Monday, July 2, 2012

V - its really hard to understand you.
J - Don't... don't say it. It feels like you are mocking me.

All men are well-wishers !

Tess - " I didn't understand your meaning till it was too late."
Alec - "That's what every woman says."
Tess - "... Did it never strike your mind that what every woman says some women may feel?"
Alec (laughing) - "Very well... I am sorry to wound you. I did wrong - I admit it...
                           Well you are absudly melancholy, Tess. I have no reason for flattering you now, and I can say plainly that you need not be so sad. You can hold your beauty against any woman of these parts gentle or simple; I say it to you as a practical man and well-wisher. If you are wise you will show to the world more than you do before it fades ... "

We were too much in love
And that love did not suffice... 

And now that it is gone...

And now that it is gone,
I am too tired to think of it.
Was it love? or the Passion?
Or as you called it, lust?
Memories are but the dust.
That was the boredom, perhaps,
And we at the need of a fancy...
But now that it is gone
And I am too tired to think of it
And you too, not alone...


Sunday, July 1, 2012

Exotic, Enchanting and Desirable


I might have lost much in the way
Yet I have the guts to walk till end.



My Fotolog
le petit français
3D Apophysis Flames on the Behance Network
denicedenice

source - vi.sualize.us
For a change I want to be myself. For a change I want to erase the present and go back in past where I was alone and my journey with others hadn't begun yet. For a change I want to act insane. don't want to think, what they would think. I want to be stubborn. I want to believe in impossible. I want to have silly dreams and talk about all which doesn't exist. For a change I don't want to be afraid to make friends. I don't want to think twice before I speak or resist to do what I feel. For a change - I don't want to be afraid.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Monday, June 25, 2012

When life takes a TURN








DONT FORGET TO BLOW THE HORN.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Roses



"You are as beautiful as a rose", he had said that day and since then her story with roses began. It wasn't very dramatic but she thought of it often twisting and altering some parts and played it in her mind. She was in high school when first she got a rose on Valentine's Day. She threw it in the backwater but again it came back  to her after an hour. Roses are desirable but they are thorny. They demand too much of attention. And it so happened that on her next Valentine's Day, when her eyes tried to fight with morning sun rays, she spotted a bunch of four pretty roses beside her on her bed. She liked them, admired them, but they were devoid of fragrance. She wanted to keep them as long as they would stay. But undesirable things move out on their on. So they did too. And ... and there was one day, he asked, " what do you want." She wore a blank expression, not knowing what exactly she wants. "See! this outfit looks fab on you, try it." 'No, thank you.' "No no you have to take something..." 'Alright.' She didn't know why she said that. 'Here! a rose', said she pointing at the female sitting on the footpath arranging her rich flower shop. It was dark enough but she felt his eyes sparkled. He, perhaps appreciated her forthright honesty. While she just didn't want to trouble him. He asked for roses. There were none with long sticks. But there were another with full of fragrance in numbers. She accepted them gratefully. It was her moment. She and roses and night and the moment. He paid the woman a hundred bucks. But roses don't live that long.



Was it only her home where roses didn't blossom? She wondered looking at her neighbour's garden where roses were bounty, all , red, pink , white. But never a rose plant stayed more than a couple of days in her own garden. It made her sick sometimes. It made her desperate. And at worst, it ignited her desire for a rose, a rose that she never saw but  existed somewhere, a rose that tested her faith and a rose worth dreaming of... a Blue Rose...That was it.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

She welcomed the rains...

We rain together /iNeedChemicalX
source- vi.sualize.us
And the Summer went on its way. She stood in silence at the window towards west , admiring the flowing river. Her sighs at the wonder. her smiles to herself, her chirping at the sound of rains tapping at roof , thus she welcomed the rains in her own way. Had she already forgotten the Summer? May be seasons knew her better than she thought she knew them. She knew them by their names, they knew her by her changing moods. Yesterday she spotted a Rainbow. What a gift of rains! so early ! and so Glorious. Next moment she received a message , there came floods in the north-east region.


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JLT

I WISH I could listen to what you had to say.