Saturday, October 30, 2010

weeeeeirrddd is wat life is ;)

isnt it weird and strange dat u write a poem for someone ... and he reads it just like all readers ... though he knows it is written for him... and someone else ... someone may be from ur past ... wants to read it ... he reads it ... and makes it his own ...he enters into ur world ... which you expected from ur own guy....  does it mean he understands u well?loves u more? or you are more imp to him than to ur own guy? ... Life cheats you ... throws u inside the palace of illusions... I am all confused about the thing called love ... watching movies now a days at home .... he said that sorta love only exists in movies ... is it true? wont i get that love ever? well be it as it is... I love myself ... and I think marriage - this business is not for me... not even commitment ... i called myself a free bird... no one can possess me ... not even I ; ) wat i want now is to build up my dreams on the plane of reality ... i will do it ... yeah I can !!!       :)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Thoughts !!!

One of my far relative committed suicide yesterday. She was aged . And the reason as assumed of her suicide  was her longing to live with her sons who at present live far from home. It was a tragedy. Not only of her but of our society and its contradictory values. Why contradictory? because it was her husband only who asked his son to go outside his hometown so that he will be able to earn more. The wish of her husband became the reason of her death.

It is in the seeds of our Karma , our destiny lies.

And "Samskara" or the bringing up of a child , shapes up your future and his own future.

***

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Its okay

Life cheats you
beats you
badly badly
treats you

And you have only two options
either , Fight
or just say that -
Its Okay!

you see, I am an unprivileged.
I am very much Alive.
And they have given me a Sword
to fight.

But I wont fight.
I am a common girl.
I know I can not fight.
Fighting is a bad thing you know...
and ...

Well !
Its okay !

And If he too doesn't treat me well
its okay !
I will leave him.
I knew I will have to ... one day ...
but its okay!
One has to suffer
God knows for what reasons ...

These are the really bad times.
But its okay...
We will fight
as usual
out of some unconscious habit -
a fight to survive...

***

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Words and silences


I wish to talk to you
I want to talk to you
I want to talk Silence
As you want to hear silence
You want to hear silence
You want to hear nothing besides it
So I speak nothing
I crave to speak
Crave to speak something
Something besides silence
So I speak to myself
I share with myself
All my words and silences
All my silences and words
Now I share with myself.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Conditioning

Its Very Difficult !
Difficult
to shake off your Conditioning
to go against
Who made you
to go against yourself or - 
What you have become.


I stand before him ... 
and try to shake off ...
I try ...
try not to sound traditional
But I am no non-conformist either
I am...
I am still a struggler 
Struggling to find what I am
And to shake off 
What they have made me
And to embrace 
What I want to become
And...
And I become nothing.
I just remain a product of my conditioning. 


I want to love 
to...make...love...
And ...
I am sorry
I can not be me
you see...
marriage...
and ... lots of things ...
and ... I am afraid
and...
let it be.
I will try another day
try...
try to shake off my conditioning...
when I meet you another day.
I meet you another day !

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

transition

I live and I don't.
Its something that goes on and one doesn't even realize this.
The Transition is so quick .

I will talk something of the world around me.

Well , its black and red and rough and blue
So much to see and so much to ....

A local bus.
faces and masks
Bad guys
Bad breath
Old ladies
Unshampooed hairs
Loose tied sarees
Old village men
Brown skins and black boots
Unfit like themselves.
Whaaaat a  LIFE !
So unworthy
So torn out
Yet they wear
If you ask them why?
They will say -
We dont know
We dont care.

And what about those
Who know ...
very purpose of their life lies in
Dirtiness
How I know?
well
their dirtiness crawl upon my body
sometimes waist
or down
or up
or anywhere.
Whaaat a Death!
Let me die.

Hey ! no !
She said today in the class -
Nothing and no one in life is worth taking your life.
But why Van Gogh suicides?
And why Woolf ?
What about the immortal nightingale of Keats?
And what's there in the Byzantium of Yeats?
World of Beauty and Art !
How true and unlike our real world... ohh.. oh...
And those dreams .. soft .. and ohh.. that insanity is so romantic...

Oh !
The Transition was so quick.

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JLT

I WISH I could listen to what you had to say.