Skip to main content

What if ???


I don't know I am in so & so mood and I really need to write something --- Believe me I don't know what I am writing or why? But I just want it to write... I think its a confession or probably its a serene reflection or dunno... I want to be in church , kneeling before God , repeating my prayers - God please gimme peace.. please gimme peace.. . I want to talk to Father , I want to feel his filial touch....
In a confession box - Im thinking all this but not able to confess --
What if I would have succeeded in committing sucide ?
What if He would have not come at the right time in my life ? - Oh I am thankful of that Angel who came and saved me.. and then silently went away...
What if .... I were not as I am now? I am so changed...
Why I am always seeking something?? What if I never get it in my life?
What if all my fears are true and I will have to lead an obscure life?
Noo..... I should not think like this. Its not the right way. I have to be normal in order to live a normal life. But I really don't want to lead a normal life. I love my fears , my thoughts , my failures , my happiness, I love myself and love to talk to myself. Whatever! I think I am out of senses.

Comments

Mr Happy said…
its not out of senses thoughts, they are thoughts which will make u a better human being , past deeds are always a learning and it makes help u to evolve better ,
whatever , i like ur thoughts :)
swati said…
hi dear its really gud dat u write wats in ur mind wats in ur thought.......n believe me i hvnt wrds hw shud i praised u???
@ngel ~ said…
Thanks for appreciating me for my meanest job. I hope my thoughts will become more clearer and deeper.

Popular posts from this blog

Esc

Red-green-yellow. Lights. Lights off. Silence. The night and owl stories. Lust. Loneliness. He called up. Late in the night and remained silent until he could sleep. She listened to his silence and the monster who wanted to drink blood, not rain. He was not in love. He was honest enough to tell her. She was happy to read him, blindly. The script was being written. She read many... many more.... At times, she prayed to be saved. At times, she got tangled. Then he held her hand, showed her love... She searched for keys. Hastily. Gasping. Pressing. Backspace. DEL. Esc.

P.S. - Something Unspoken

Hey Vish how are you? I am great darling . How about you? I am good. What’s up? Nothing . I was just having a little booze party with my best friend. Who? Shanky? Yeah ! Who else could be? Wao ! What’s wao in this? No , I mean its good you are with Shanky. Now you will introduce me to him. Right! Shut up! Please Vish … let me once speak to him.. I like him. Why ? What have you seen in him ? Nothing , just his name is nice and I think he would not be lunatic like you… What? Lunatic ! Oh ! Great… listen Jeanie don’t take his name otherwise … What otherwise? Common you are a friend and you behave as if I am your girlfriend. … ok Fine! Go … talk to him. No… leave it now! ( After a brief pause) Jeanie! Yeah! ……… ( A long silence creeps in) Say Vish! Nothing. Vish! I want to tell you something. I made a blunder. What Jeanie? Vish … I got involved in s** with somebody …. Someone who is married… ohh… but not physically it was something … mental s**… I don’t know how to explain everything.. You

when colors speak...

It is so real, isn't it?  I loved the colors... Woods are calling me.... A silence... A path... A spiritual feeling... drowning in Orange effect   - Vincent Van Gogh